HATING P3!!!

So as we all know, I'm great at stabilizing, but I FUCKING HATE P3!!!
I'm not great at stabilizing until I stop being a dumbbutt, and eat slightly normally. Which I haven't been doing. But I'm not one of those people who's going to use college as an excuse. If anything college makes it easier to NOT EAT. BUT, it also makes it easier to stop for pizza on the way home because I'm too lazy to cook dinner between or after classes.

I have a Hungry Howie's addiction.... Especially when their large pizzas are only $5, and they're soooooo yummy!
I'll do a food blog about them someday. Apparently most people have never heard of Hungry Howie's....Of course I never had either until my friend's birthday out in Surprise....and when I went over there to visit and we got hungry so I wanted to order the pizza she had on her birthday....Anywho! LOVE IT. Papa John's USED to be my favorite commercial pizza joint, but NOT ANYMORE.

I still have to get my History book, tomorrow preferably, since I have a test on due on Tuesday.
I already got this week's assignment for English done (due next Saturday), and Tuesday's DUE assignment for History done, as of today, I just, like I said, have to get my textbook for History class (they were out and on order when I went to get it last week),....Oh and I am going to get a printer, since I have to print out my assignment for History class this week. And there's the fact that it would jsut be nice to HAVE a printer...COUPONS!!!!! I am totally destined for CRAZYCOUPONLADY status whenever I get a printer and get time to go to all the sites and print out coupons....and go shopping. Usually going to the store is like CLOCKWORK for me, but lately, I'm like, "blegh whatever."

So I've gained back 4#, I'm sitting at 239.5. WHICH I AM NOT PROUD OF. But I'm not sure if eating is the problem or if I've gained purely because of TOM. Who is visiting, even though I wish I could kick his ass out of here!!!

Took my Apidexin today, which I have been too lazy to do since starting P3 (thanks again TOM), but maybe I'll keep getting up early enough to take it and I'll shoot this weight back down.

Hopefully my attempt at a juicing fast next week will also help get rid of this gained weight, and a ton of water weight... Because I'm going to try sticking to that for a week and see how that goes as a pre-P2 cleanse sort of thing.

My skin is realllllly getting bad breakouts for some reason, on my temples... I don't normally get acne anymore, one or two here and there, yeah, but not like an actual BREAKOUT. It's annoying.
Can't wait for my BB cream to get here, it should arrive this coming week sometime. I'M EXCITED!
OH. Also, just found some Frederic Fekkai conditioner for $5 at Marshall's yesterday, can't wait to try it out and give you all a review. (I guess I should probably start a beauty-review blog?) Let me know what you think aboout the idea. Got some new stuff I'd love to tell about sometime.


Nothing else to talk about tonight, I don't think...
Oh, I think the only hard thing about college so far....AND about HCG, is being a mom.
Shit is not made for moms.
If you ever think about having kids, that's awesome, but wait until you're old, like 30. I feel like I've lost my entire life, you know, the "college kid goes out and has fun" sort of life. It's going to be really sad when I start doing all that kind of stuff when I'm like 30 and my son's old enough to watch himself while I go out.
I would say wait until your 30s or don't have kids at all.
It kind of makes me feel sorry for my own mother, lol. She finally got her first child all grown up and it's her turn to have fun, and then out I come. Not that it stopped her from having her own life, but not until I was 5 and would stay home by myself (my insistence, with my neighbor-lady checking in, or me playing at her house all day). I was HORRIBLE to babysitters. Always independent, if my mom wasn't there, then no-one should be. Lol. I suspect my son will be the same way, but he'll also be brought up to be super independent and naturally intelligent like I was.


Alrighty, going to smoke a fag and go to bed, nighty night!

MORNING ALL!

Down another pound this morning from my Gyro day last night =] That's encouraging.
Going all POP today and see if I can't kick it into overdrive. Hamburgers for lunch and dinner today....I might just have steak for lunch and make meatloaf for family dinner, but I don't really feel like cooking so much. I might just use some of the hamburger and make hubby Thai beef and rice.

I can't think of anything else to say, I'm soo tired. I went to sleep around 4am, and had to wake up at 10 or 10.30 this morning.

I decided to take my Apidexin this morning, mostly just to wake up, but it could boost my losses tomorrow. I doubt it, but it could happen lol. If anything the HCG will burn fat and the Apidexin will build muscle.

I'll update later on, tonight.

It's been a while.... (UPDATED)

And I've gained a few pounds but I'm not worried about it in the least.

I've been staying up too late, and in turn I have not been taking my Apidexin.
Sooooo, I'm thinking about starting P2 again tomorrow....But I really don't want to do the hhcg pellets again, I'm afraid of being hungry, and of my hair falling out again. I wouldn't be so worried if I did the Apidexin with the pellets, but I don't wake up early enough to take it! I could just take one and that might be ok....If I wake up early enough tomorrow, I'll try it and see how it goes.

I will be attempting to only having protein shakes with fruit, this doesn't work out so well with the hhcg though, I get hungry. So, with the 600-800 cal protocol in mind, I will have a 4oz steak for dinner if I get hungry towards the end of the day.

So I guess that's it, and I should be getting some HCG (Rx) before the end of the month, which will make it soooooooo much easier for me to stick with it. I LOVE INJECTIONS, and it's THE BEST WAY, the do HCG. I don't care what all the HHCG THUMPERS say, there is no susbstitute for the real thing.


Update!!!!
Decided to stay up all day today (ddn't get to sleep last night), so I'm going to hold off on starting P2 until another day, but I'm going to take 3 Apidexin with hopes that it will make me stay up until a normal bedtime. Then hopefully I'll get up at a normal time from now on so I can do the HHCG and Apidexin.

I'm thinking about doing Vlogs. My YouTube name is Queenrilly.
I don't know if doing it from my phone would work or not, it might with this new phone and then I could upload and edit from the computer..... I don't know. I guess it would be cool, but I feel like it would make me turn into every other idiot on the internet. And I would have to turn into one of those people who whore their YouTube accounts all over Facebook and Twitter.... I guess it's not much different as my blog though. I'd just have to write a script or something...
My voice totally sucks on video though...

Ok done thinking aloud, going to look at skinny people clothes online now, lol.

2 Days to Challenge

Forgot to take my Apidexin yesterday.
Was down 1lb this morning. 245.5 again.
Actually it was 244.5 two times and 245.5 once, so I'm going with the higher weight just to be happy if I lose tomorrow haha.
And then my scale battery died.
I need to find my extrea or go buy some before it gets too late tonight.

Took my Apidexin today, and I've only eaten Macaroni and Cheese with hotdogs, 3 Almond windmill cookies (I know-BAD), and a strawberry/banana protein shake.

I think I'll have Omar run to McDonald's for a mcdouble for dinner....
Then again we might just get a pizza from Hungry Howie's. Mmmmm, I love Hungry Howie's. I get my half in cheese and he gets half ham. With my choice, garlic herb crust. =]
Maybe we'll get Corrleone's though. They have twice the pizza for $4 more......I really love HH's though haha.

3 Days Until Challenge =D

Up 1 whole pound!!!
And I know exactly why muahahahaha.
I ate two bowls of ice cream, with peanuts, a pack of ramen noodles, the rest of my tub of Fage w/banana, a piece of bacon, cantaloupe [late at night], alot of juice....
So stuff with alot of carbs. (the sugar and noodles).


Maybe tomorrow I'll be down. Who knows. It depends on what I find to eat. We don't really have anything. AT ALL....Except eggs....Maybe I'll figure out something to make with eggs. I REALLY REALLY HATE HATE HATE EGGS.


Nothing else to talk about today. I think I'm only going to take 1 Apidexin today, see if it has anything to do with my not going to bed on time. Honestly, I think it's just me sitting on the computer too much and too late.

Anyways....I can't think of anything else to write.

4 Days Left Before Challenge!

Down .5 of that pound I gained yesterday.
Took 2 Apidexin yesterday morning (ok, around 11a-12p), and this morning (same time).
Ate basically ice cream, peanuts, a nectarine, possibly some Fage yogurt, and two slices of salsberry (sp?) steak.
Great nutrition right?

Anyways, I'm hoping to lose the other half in the morning. And with any luck, I'll be back to 243 before starting the challenge/loading on Sunday-Monday.

Hubby's doing the challenge with me!!!!
He only has like 10lbs to lose. So I guess for him we'll just hope he gains 10lbs loading! Lol. Or just go until his belly gut is gone and you can see his abs. Or until his abnormal fat is gone?
IDK.
But at least he'll be supporting me and I definitely won't cheat.
I am NOT going to cheat!!! I want to win, not be disqualified!!!

P3 and BORED - Waiting for the Contest to START!

Soooooooooooooooooooooo.....
I've been on "P3" for about a week, and I'm just to 3lbs over LDW (actually I've lost from the technical "LDW" of 247 - I think it was, but I'm going by the lowest weight I got during that week - 243lbs) today. Tomorrow I'm sure that will be back down so I'm not going to freak out and force myself to do a steak day.
PLUS, I have no steak!.... I guess I could do a Fage day, but honestly that stuff makes me sick, it's so thick and tastes like cream cheese.
I only like cream cheese on bagels tyvm, lol..

ANYONE WHO WANTS TO JOIN THE "HCG BIGGEST LOSER 21-DAY 4TH OF JULY CHALLENGE" FIND OUR GROUP ON FACEBOOK!!!
4th July HCG 21 Day Round Challege
You must have your supplies by this weekend! Loading is July 2-4 with VLCD1 on July 5th.
You will be required to post a picture of your scale/losses every morning.
Cheating is completely NOT ALLOWED.
We will be following Dr. ATW Simeons' Original Protocol.
No REVISED PROTOCOLS!!! NO EXCEPTIONS!
So join the group if youre interested!!!
PRIZE is a FULL 30 DAY ROUND KIT!



Moving on, I need to remember to take my Apidexin when I'm not doing the HCG, because I don't want to just stabilize right now, I want to keep losing. Apparently (according to Dr. Al Sears and some other Drs) the chromium in my Apidexin helps you lose weight and build muscle! I never bothered reading up on the actual history of the ingredients, but I was looking up more info about how eating more fat is better for you, and I passed over Dr. Sears' blog on how when chromium is given to pigs they lose fat mass and gain muscle.

Now I'm watching the Drs and they're talking about people being fat an thinking that they're NOT fat.
And skinny people thinking that they ARE fat. LMAO.
The current "overweight" meter was reduced though, making previously "overweight" people "obsese".
I'm currently a "Class 2 Obese" person. My waist is 40". That's only 10" over what "Dr. Oz" says is good.
Everyone has their own fucking idea of what's right.

I think just to prove the bullshit, I'm going to get down to the lowest "healthy weight" for my BMI, i.e.: 115lbs where I will probably look like a walking skeleton. Just to prove the fucking Drs Association or whomever wrong!


Back to the Apidexin topic....

I REALLY NEED TO REMEMBER TO TAKE IT!!
I completely LOVE this stuff. It works. And if it ends up not working someday, it still gives me great energy for random stuff, like exercise, or just cleaning the house. Stuff I normally procrastinate on.
I take 1-2 capsules in the morning usually, sometimes 3, I never get any side effects (like jittery or sick), just the great side effect of FORGETTING TO EAT, lol. And I tend to eat really well, so what I do force myself to eat, probably helps out (right now, stuff like Fage, eggs, yogurt, fruit, and tomatoes and bell peppers, chili peppers, etc.) Lots of protein, fat, and fruits and veggies. I might have a couple of tortillas or something, basically I try to stay away from grains and sugars. Which is getting hard because I REALLLY want a bowl of cereal sometimes lol. Luckily right now we're out of milk lol.



OH AND:
My new favorite lotion right now is The Anti-Aging w/ pro-retinol and collegen by Vaseline (big purple bottle), it has the normal collegen lotion smell (pretty nice), leaves you smooth-feeling and not greasy. LOVE IT. I like using collegen lotion (when I can't find or don't bother looking for my Dead Sea lotion) for my stretch marks, and to prevent getting wrinkles.
Te only downside is that the Retinol makes you more susceptible to the sun and sunburns, so you HAVE to make sure you use a sunscreen or clothes that cover your body well, or you WILL burn.
(But if you don't stay out forever, it does help for tanning lol. I'm a great caramel color right now and this time last week I was a ghost.) =]

VLCD6 HHCG - Apidexin Day 15

Down 2.5lbs this morning!!!!

3 Apidexin again today.
Yesterday I literally forgot to eat. LOL.

So here's what I ate yesterday:
Chicken
Tomato
Steak
Greek yogurt (fat free)
Strawberries
2 bites of parmesan cheese
1 (100 cal) Windmill almond cookie dipped in whole milk

Lost 2.5lbs on VLCD6

VLCD4 I ate:
Chicken
Tomato
Steak
Half a 18" cheese pizza
Parmesan cheese
Greek yogurt (FF)
3 (5 cal) gello cups
Half a hotdog

Lost 1.5lbs on VLCD5



Apparently I do better when I have a bit of fat. Which I knew from Round 2, but I didn't think it was that bad that if I follow protocol POP (perfectly on protocol), I don't lose anything! It's rediculous, really.


Today so far I've had:
Steak
Green Beans
2 (5 cal) gello cups
and like 2oz of spaghetti



So there are my past three days in a nutshell.
My current weight is 243.
Lets hope tomorrow I'm reallly reallllllly reallllllllllly close to being in the 230s =D

It's really making me happy to see all this baby weight going to HELL where it should be. And then I'm just going to keep going down down down!!!!

I have a new HCG friend, Sascha, that totally understands my idea of a goal, and the weight I want to get to, she's totally hip and awesome too.
In fact I love all the people In my FB HCG Group - Loving HCG Help. They don't judge the amount of weight you want to lose, or the way you follow protocol. NO FLIPPEN HCG NAZIS!!!! I love it.
And my "HCG Mama" Shelli, is the most awesome and kind lady in the whole world, I love her to death, I really do, she's an amazing women, AND SHE'S ALMOST LOST 100LBS! In....I think about 10-11 months! She's a true inspiration.

I'm going to see if I can round up some new Thinspiration pictures so we'll see what I come up with.....

VLCD5 HHCG - Apidexin Day 14

WOW down 1lb this morning.
The "wow" is because for dinner I spontaneously decided to miniload!
I ate half a 18" cheese pizza, 150g of steak, 100g chicken, 1 tomato, 2 wedges of watermelon, 3 SF gello cups, and half a hotdog. I think my total calories was just over 2000cals.
I'll probably gain tomorrow, so it's whatever, I had a really bad day yesterday, I was so stressed and depressed, I didn't eat out of that stress, but I decided I wanted pizza and I had my pizza. So there it is.


Ok, I'm watching Dr. Oz (not by choice of course)it's a show about cancer, and apparently every fucking thing in the world is going to kill us.
1st to avoid cancer: STOP BEING FAT, yes of course that's their number one. I think I've seen more skinny people actually have cancer than fat people.
2nd: Don't cook your meat! It's better to get salmonella and mad cow disease than to have cancer you know.
3rd: Stay away from hotdogs and bacon; eat lost of green food and soybeans!
That's just fucking terrific. FUCK OFF AND DIE DOCTOR OZ, according to your show you've probably been dead for the past 20 years and didn't know it yet!
Oh great now he's onto varicose veins.
I wonder how fast those will kill me!



Anyways,
I'm going to be POP (perfectly on protocol) all weekend if Hubby doesn't fricken drive me completely insane....or the BOOB, who seems to be worse than usual lately.

I'm expecting to be on this round until 4th of July, and then do my P3 and do a cycle of injections (10-14 days with a vial of HCG 2000iu), starting around July 25 or so, if I feel comfortable waiting I'll probably wait until August 1st. But you know me, I get addicted to losing weight and feel like a fat cow when I'm not trying to get thinner. So thats where it stands. I probably will never stop for long until I get to at least a size 10.
My ultimate goal as of now is to fit into those size 5 skinny jean my NIL (niece in law) gave me the other day for my wall. (Lots of people have like a visible goal pair of clothes or something hanging on their wall or closet door or whatever, you know? I don't have money to buy a pair of pants I'll probably never wear, so I got a pair from my hubby's niece lol.

VLCD4 HHCG - Apidexin Day 13

I'm up .5lb this morning, but that's because of Tuesday's cheat I think.
So no more cheating!
Anyways,
I took 3 Apidexin this morning....basically just for the hell of it, and I have to clean the house today...at some point, so I needed the extra energy. So far I don't feel any different than normal and I took it 3 hours ago...So as usual, no side-effects with Apidexin.

I stayed pretty full all day yesterday until the time when I should have went to bed. I was expecting a loss because when I weighed at night I was 246, but alas, 246 this morning aswell.
Not worried about it, should have a good loss tomorrow.

I made my lunch already, chicken and a tomato, but I just did my pellets, so I haven't started eating yet. I'll eat when I'm done writing this post, that should be plenty of time since the pellets are already dissolved (I put them in before I started cooking).

My son is driving me insane as usual and I don't have any cigarettes. So I guess I'll have to get dressed and take a walk down to the gas station before I lock him in his room for the rest of the day lol. At least he doesn't seem too interested in the TV today, but I know if I turn it off he'll freak out, even though he's not watching it. He's trying to kill a banana by sitting on it.
Ok now he's just being a fucking weirdo.
He desn't even want to eat the damn thing, just to flippen destroy it.
BOYS!!!!!! Are freaking nuts!!!!



So if I feel like it I'll update tonight.

I went swimming last night too, so maybe that led to the gain as well.
Oh well, no biggie.

Apidexin Day 11 - VLCD w/ HHCG Pellets Day1

Ok so this morning I took my pellets, and then after those were done (about 30 mins later) I took my Apidexin, and then another...well 2 hours lol because it's 2:06pm now, I ate an orange. I have to admit, I did have a bite of banana around the time when I took the Apidexin.

So I'm feeling really good right now, I am sad that I didn't get to make my Alfredo last night because we waited too late to eat and by then it was too late to cook and faster just to get food.
I didn't even eat it all so I also feel guilty for wasting that money, but I guess my son & hubby will eat it throughout the week.

I'm not feeling hungry today, I think as long as I'm doing something (like being online), I don't think about eating, but I am having cravings for the alfredo I didn't get to make.

Tonight for dinner I'm going to make chicken strip fry or something and skip the rice. Also, I'm out of shirataki noodles, so it's going to be a very boring dinner for me, but as long as I lose at least my loading weight tomorrow it will be worth it.
Since it's so late already tonight, I'll have a protein shake in about an hour with strawberries. Maybe I should nix the stir-fry tonight and just make today and protein shake and fruit day.
I'll probably drop 5lbs! lol.

I guess I'll have to think about it.

Loading Day2 - Apidexin Day 10

Yesterday was my first loading day for this round of using pellets.
And: dun da da da! I gained .5lbs.
I probably would have gained more, but I did a salt flush (basically saline laxative), because my stomach has hurt since Friday and I can't figure out what to do to fix it!
I had tuna salad, fried chicken, french fries, mac and cheese, sushi (tune and salmon, cream cheese, avodcado)....I think that's it.
It's not alot, but I was feeling sick all day yesterday so I think it's a pretty good amount since I didn't want to eat any of it besides the sushi, because I LOVE SUSHI!!!
Which is an expensive love to have, but sooo yummy.

I finally decided what to do for my "weight loss tattoo", I'm going to get something all the way down the side of my leg, like this:

With my lost weight numbers hiding throughout, or maybe I'll just do the pretty flowers on one leg and the long addition problem on my other thigh! I don't know, I have alot of time to think about it.

Apidexin Day 9 - hCG Pellets Load Day 1

So this morning I was up 1.5lbs, which is good considering that I ate half a pizza last night.
I am noticing that I look thinner, so maybe I'm losing inches.

I took my first hcg pellets when I got up today, and as I write right now I have my second dose under my tongue. Keeping them under the tongue is kind of hard, but I'm sure I'll get used to it. They are sweet and melt pretty evenly though.
We'll see how well they work when I start the VLC (very low calorie) days on Monday... Well technically on Tuesday when I have my first loss.
I'm going to try to stay as on protocol as possible, I don't think I'll have a problem since I'm taking the Apidexin too, I probably wont have any urge to eat at all.

My Hubby went paintballing with our neighbor earlier.
I know I said I would wait, but when he gets home I want to go to Ross and get a pair of pants/pedal-pushers since all I have are three pairs of pants and one pair is ripping in the thighs, another is heavy material and almost falling off! And the last pair is hiding in a pile of dirty clothes.
I need pants desperately and I don't think these are going to last much longer!
Maybe I'll be able to fit in a pair of 20s or 18s! Exciting!

So I've been trying not to swallow and I just noticed that my pellets are completely gone. Lol, I've been sitting here, focusing on not moving my tongue and they were gone already! I feel like a dork haha.

So eating the pizza last night made me really sick to my stomach and it still hurts but it seems to be getting better. I just stuffed as much tuna salad and cheese as I could, but maybe I'll be able to eat more if my stomach stops hurting.
I really need to load well this time. I haven't been loading good at all these past couple of rounds and I feel like I could've done much better if I would have loaded better.

Wish me luck!!

Apidexin Day 8

Down 2lbs from yesterday, still up 1lb from Wednesday.
Hopefully in the morning I'll be down another pound or two to have a pre-loading weight of 245 again, so I'll only have a goal of 20lbs to make by 4th of July weekend!
If I stick to protocol I can make it easy, even without my food scale (I left it at my dad's when I was up there), but I'm pretty good at eyeing the amounts of meat I'm supposed to have. Then again, with the Apidexin helping, I probably won't even have to worry about cheating or overeating!
I love Apidexin!

I re-bleached and colored my hair


I don't know what else to update about.
I'm really excited about loading this weekend! I hope I cen get enough fats/food in!!!
I also hope I can remember to take my pellets, I might have to put a bunch of timers on my phone to remember....

Apidexin Day 7

Week one of using Apidexin! That must mean that today's Thursday.
So I'm back up 3lbs even, but I know exactly why! I ate alot of carbs and fat yesterday. More than I usually eat, because I had a craving that I couldn't recognise and after eating everything it still wasn't gone.

Breakfast/Lunch: Bacon, Eggs, 1 piece of toast, banana
Snack: 1c Quaker Oatmeal Squares ceral w/ 1c 1% milk
Dinner: Spaghetti w/tomato sauce and chicken,green beans
Snack: 1 Corn tortilla, tuna salad (theres 500 cals by itself!), beef hot dog, 1 piece of bread (whole grain, nutty kind)
a Couple tablespoons of peanut butter.
Possibly a glass of orange juice and milk in there somewhere

Anyways, that's alot of food. it also wasn't a small helping of spaghetti, carbs are pure sugar you know!

So I'm not really worried about the weight. I figure it will be gone tomorrow after I eat well today.
It could also be muscle weight, because I exercised pretty good yesterday.


My HCG pellets should be here today, it got to and left Phoenix last night, so it should be delivered today!
I still can't decide whether to load this weekend or keep on P3 for another week or so. Or keep with the Apidexin over summer without HCG.
I want to for sure make my 225 goal by the 4th of July, if not below that. So I guess I should just do my HCG and stop whining!
I can't believe I'm so close to 200. I know, I'm not really "close" to 200, but when you think of where I cam from, this close >> [] to 300lbs! YES I AM ALMOST TO 200lbs! =D
Or the thought that I can probably get there in like 2 months!
Needless to say, I'M STOKED!



I love Kate Winslet!
And I just found out she's the same height as me!



And I know she's always like FUCK SKINNY, but she's never really been fat, let alone categorised as "morbidly obese," so I'm sure she'd understand my idea of skinny, because really, she is it!
In all of her thick, and now thin, glory.


Domino is the only movie I like Keira Knightly in:

But I like this picture of her too:


Here's another picture of Christina Ricci: