NEW BLOG AND NEW DIET

http://rillypsmfdiet.blogspot.com/

Content

Well today has been a slow and interesting day, now it's almost time for me to get read for school and got take notes for an hour so I re-learn high school mathematics, lol. Honestly, I just like reviewing and it doesn't bother me so much that I'm in a low-level math class, because I get all A's from already knowing what I'm doing, and I get extra help on anything that I do happen to have issues with, like changing decimals to fractions... Which really isn't needed in real life, but it's interesting to know off-hand.

I am on P3, probably until after my birthday or Spring Break, so for another week or two, and then I'll be back on P2 with my friend and we're going to try keeping it together for a 90-day stint. Knowing me I'll probably break that up a bit, or skip every other day of HCG because of tolerance paranoia, but hopefully we'll keep each other in line so we look great in time for Vegas in July.

I think I've discovered something about me that differs from everyone else that's dieting, or at least alot of people. Weight-loss isn't THE most important thing in the world to me as it is to some people. Yes, I would like to lose weight, but I'm not worried about when or how or even IF it happens. I'm not going to die if I don't get to my goal. Onederland would be nice, but I'm not going to freak out if it doesn't happen. I might be disappointed that I've wasted so much money if I don't make it to 130 at least lol, but I'm not going to freak out about it. I've lost 30-40lbs, that's more than most people do in an entire year! 

So P3....
Boring boring P3.....
I've been keeping my food to alot of protein and alot of fat, probably more on the fat side, with some carbs here and there, and I'm sticking at my LIW. I don't really have to worry much on P3 as long as I don't go insane with pastas and bread carbs, since I really don't eat sugar at all anyways. I like Fage, coconut milk/cream, fruits, red meat, chicken and veggies like onions and bell peppers and chilies. P3 is always good for me as long as I'm good to my body, but I get bored of it quickly. So I don't know when I am going to start HCG, I should probably wait until after my birthday and start on the 10-11 with a mini load (hcg and regular p3 eating or fat fast), and then VLCD on the 12th - but who knows with me, I'm not great at sticking to actual "date" as plans.
I think I'll try to lose 10lbs over this next week or two just from eating clean and normal no-carb dieting so I can get back to what I got down to 2 rounds ago and start this next round. Either way I need to keep on this break to get my mindset back on so I'm ready to restrict calories again, and maybe do my HCG with the ABC lol.

Oh well, time to get ready, if I think about it I might update eventually lol.
Keep your heads up ladies, it doesn't matter how long your dieting takes, it just matters that you're trying to make it happen.

Wheewww *wipes brow*

I'm feeling better today after losing 2lbs this morning when I total thought I was going to gain.
I had a 17.5oz tub of 2% Fage, 12 strawberries, 1 SF jello, 3 Chocolate cookies, a few chips (cassava), a piece of cake, and ALOT of steak/fat.  Maybe I needed a jolt of fat and protein? Well I'm going to try to do it again today! So we'll find out ho that goes tomorrow when I wake up, then I have NO IDEA what I'm going to do tomorrow, I was planning to do an egg day but I think we're leaving late tomorrow night for Las Vegas (planning on messing around - gambling/drinking all night until Saturday when we check into the hotel), but I don't know we might just go early Saturday morning...
I'm starting to get excited about Vegas now. Haha, I don't know whether it's the gambling that's making me excited, or the fact that when we went LAST YEAR I WAS 40LBS FATTER!!
I also got a new duffelbag/suitcase and some sweaters (like to put over my dresses/tank top shirts) and it's always exciting to have new nice things to wear somewhere you don't normally go.
I just have to keep my hubby from spending any more money or we won't have anything to eat or play with in Vegas!!!
My Mom had her day off today so she woke me up early to get in the house this morning and I couldn't get back to sleep. I like to sleep late because it takes time off of the stress of avoiding food ALLLLL day.
I got all of my book for school yesterday, and apparently I did REALLLLLY bad on my Math placement test because I flipped through my math book and it's SUPER EASY! Luckily it will be a refresher and I'll get and awesome grade. ^_^
So until I start feeling like I'm starving again I'M GOOD!

VLCD 4..or 3.. oh well. SKINNIFYING IN PROCESS!

So I just hooked up to my other neighbour-friend's internet #1 because in 1.5 weeks I'll be abck in school and need the net, #2 because i need to update my HCG group's stuff and keep track of the weights and keep them posted and stuff....
AND I need to vlog and blog haha.

So I'm down to 238.5 from my high of 244.5, 6lbs in 5 days.
Not bad, especially considering that most of those days were loading days.
I'm ready for next week and hopefully being back into the 220s so I can blow out of those and make my January goal of 210lbs.
If I don't stick to my goals I wont make it to my July goal of 135-130! So I have to really push myself to be good on this round. And right now I should be chugging a ton of water but I'm slacking. So I'll try to drown myself later tonight, right now I really don't feel like water.
I feel that today's weight didn't drop so much as I expected because I drank 3 cans of Hansen's DIET soda yesterday, so I'm trying to keep myself away from that (excessively) today.
I had my turkey chili/goolash stuff for lunch and if I have dinner I think I'm just going to have egg whites and salsa. Or 1 egg + 2 whites and salsa. Maybe an apple but I haven't decided yet.

Yesterday I came to roughly 560 cals.
Today I'm hoping to stay under 500kcals.
I have to stay in control like in my beginning rounds or I go crazy and cheat all over the place!!!!
So I'm trying to stay POP/MOP and NOT CHEAT. Not even CocoaCrack! (Choco D) because that shit can get out of hand FAST. I have 6 months to get all of this weight off before summer and by Jiminey I'm GOING TO DO IT THIS TIME!!! I might even do what some others are doing and just keep going until it's completely gone. But we'll see how I feel. I don't want to take breaks anymore because I realise now that it gets me into the wrong mindset and it's damn near impossible to get back into protocol/dieting mode!!

I am planning on taking sleeping pills every night until I run out so I don't get those dreaded night cravings and cave into defeat! Finally found my magic sleeping pill number - 5! I have to take 5 just to get drowsy. They're OTC so that's probably why. Wish I could afford Ambien like my friend Jo lol. I need some knockout meds!!!

Anyways, I'm feeling good and can't wait for next week. Might check in before then, but with me you never know haha. No seriously I'll probably be back and write again on Friday, I should probably measure then to, I haven't measured since the Halloween round began.
I hate getting fat again.
I can't wait to fit into the pants I bought last year that I thought would be too big by now, and would have if I had just stuck to the plan!!!!!

I'm my own worst [dieting]enemy.

Christmas Day 2011

So I thought I should update for today, I am 10lbs over my LIW of 235.5, I thoguht it was 7 but I think that was yesterday. I don't even want to think about what tomorrow's weight will be like but it's whatever, holidays are finally over (besides New Years), and this week I'm going to be working on (eating everything in the house) cleaning out the cupboards full of carbs and starting anew for the new year!

Today I had prime rib, mashed potatoes and gravy, mac and cheese, choco-chip cookies, cake, fudge, and .... i don't know. I didn't eat alot altogether but I'm sure it will add up especially since I had some soda and for some reason soda has been making me gain the most over this past week.

Anywys I wanted to take a minute and wish the world a Merry Christmas! Hope you all had a great holiday and enjoy the rest of the week.

2012 GOALS

2012 Rounds:

(End of these months)

1 - January: 210lbs
2 - February: 195lbs
(March is P3 and ending with P2)
3 - April: 165lbs

(May is P2 all the way through - 43 day round)

4 - June: 135lbs
July: 130lbs at end of P3 - Beginning P4 - Life Maintenance

So this doesn't get me completely to goal, but hopefully I'll be happy in the 130s, if not I can always change my mind and do one last round before maintaining.
This is just a rough estimate of my goals for this year, but I feel that having it written down will make me stick to the plan better.

Count Down: 8 days until my next round!

I just thought I would stop in and say HIIIIII =]
Also, I wanted to remind people that I am 22 years old and therefore I'm allowed to have a super low goal weight! (114.5-120; though I would be happy with 110 so I have sort of a weight-gain buffer.) I tend to get a few people who are "worried" about my goal weight, but honestly it's a healthy goal, about a size 0-5 with my body, but who knows: Maybe I'll be happy with myself before I get to those "goal" numbers!
I am very happy to have my "Alternative" friends with whom I have a completely supportive relationship no matter how fat or tiny we want to be in the end, or the reasons we're trying to get there. We may not always agree, but we're always supportive, some of you people out there making judgments need to take other peoples' views into consideration. I might give you shit, but I never judge.

So, in 8 days I start my new, NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION CHALLENGE! 
(which I still have to start writing up the spreadsheet for...)
 I'm hoping to finally get out of the 200s by the end of February, which is a goal I know my awesome friends are going to help me achieve. I should have technically been done for good by NOW, but for the past almost 6 months I've just been fucking around and staying around the same weight, yeah I've lost about 15lbs since June, but I should have been able to at least lose 100lbs ( 15lbs/month). So I'm kind of kicking myself right now and thinking of myself as a failure, I know I need to get my head out of that kind of thinking though.
So I should probably write up a goal sheet for 2012 and I will get to that in another post after I publish this one. I'm hoping to be at GOAL GOAL by the time the girls and I leave for Las Vegas in July for our HCG girls "bachelorette" party haha. I don't want to feel like a failure anymore, I want to get this weight off and find something else to obsess over that isn't so depressing.

Off the wagon and in the gains lol

Not big gains mind you - I hover around 233 most of the time, but I can't seem to stop myself from cheating. Caused by letting myself really cheat a few times and getting re-addicted to food. ... mainly Carbs. CARBSSSS those devilish things. >.>

So yes I'm still on the juice and not eating a lot to cause real gains (minus last night because I ate a lot of Chinese pastries, giving me a 1.5 gain that might be gone tomorrow, depending if I keep eating crap today..)
I can't decide whether to just be in P3 or to keep trying to get myself back into P2 mode (NO CHEATINNNGGGG)
these past couple of seeks have been MEGGA hard because we've been MEGGGAAAA BROKE. So I've had to buy crap and eat crap because CRAP is all we've been able to afford. And seems to be all we're going to be able to afford or a while. I think I should buy a shit-ton of full fat Fage and live off of that because it loves me and really keeps you full. Downside - EXPENSIVE AS FUCKKKK!

Also need to get back into looking at lots of thinspo, I seem to notice when I'm not actively looking at inspiration I fall off into my fat-people ways and eat shit. =/ Doesn't help either that hubby has been bringing home crap or wanting me to cook crap food. I think I should just go back to beef and broccoli every night hahaha, but then he'd want rice or noodles.... Again with the carbohydrates!!!
Halloween didn't help either because of trick-or-treating and sugar sugar sugar candy candy candy. BUT, I did NOT make yummies this year (cookies, Rice Krispy Treats, etc). So I'm kind of proud of that. =] But I DID raid my son's candy bag for "the good stuff". (Hershey's and Reeses) which I'm not proud of.


Also have not been paying enough attention to my studies at all. Which I'm actually supposed to be doing as I type right now because I haven't read my chapters and I have an exam TODAY that I have to finish before leaving for my dads in 6 hours. Crap.


So there's my update.

I hate P3!

Soo sorry I haven't written in a while. I do post VLOGs on occasion http://www.youtube.com/queenrilly but I forget to write, especially since at times like this, I'm supposed to be doing homework! College is kicking my ass, but I'm hanging in there! English is over so that's one less stress for me to think about, even though I'm looking up classes for next semester right now because I don't want the good teachers to fill up! Also, after I pass this Chinese class I'm hoping that I can get into an online version next semester. I feel like maybe English ws a bad class to take oline but maybe oters won't be so bad, because y Religion class is online ands only a little difficult because I haven't been studying!


Moving on and back to HCG!!

I HATE P3!!! So I was downto 228.5 right? Right now I'm at my second day of 235.5, that's up what 6lbs?
I'm too lazy to do any corrections and I know I've been bad so I guess I sort of feel like I should be punished, an feeling fat is totally punishment! But I think I'm about to stabilize so I'm hoping I can drop a couple before it sinks in at 235.5.

Going back to P2 probably tomorrow. But Idk yet, ight keep on P3 until at least Halloween an do a mini-load. I'm beyond making plans anymore because I always throw them into the wind anyways.

Halloween Challenge VLCD 24

So obviously since its day 24 I've decided to extend this round to roughly 35 days. Depending on how much I lose in these last ten days, then I might decide to go to 40....MAYBE.

I lost 11.5lbs last week doing stuff like full fat Fage days, monday I did an egg day...

I've been up and down .5lb the past 3 days, just counting it as a stall, I think my body's trying to catch up to my weight.

Halloween Challenge VLCD 18

Down 8.5# so far this week!!!
And now I'm sick so I don't know what's going to happen with my weight!
Today I had mushroom soup, tomatoes, and half of a Carne asada burrito.
Feel like crap, going back to bed.  :-(

Halloween Challenge VLCD 17

So this week i have been back on track and losing, finally back to LIW and ready to blow that out of the water in the morning.
I did an egg day on Monday, (4 eggs and a fried chicken thigh) down 3#, Fage Total FF yesterday down 2#, and fage today, if I go get eggs I can do another egg day tomorrow but Idk if I want to.
I'm not getting enough water in but I'm getting sick again so I better start.

Sorry I've been MiA busy and infatuated.

Halloween Challenge VLCD 11

Down 1# this morning after tuna protein day.
Was expecting more, but I forget that TOM makes it hard to lose weight, and I should be happy I'm losing 1# at a time.
I have to do an essay for English class that I realy should be working on. I don't really know how to go about doing it. I hate all of these opinion essays and conflict/argument essays, I'm not really argumentative about current events and whatever and it's hard to write things in that way.

I'm going to look for an article about (against) HCG and maybe I can argue with that.

Halloween Challenge VLCD 10

Down 1.5-2.5 today (depending on which weigh I take from yesterday) first weight was 239.5 and second was 238.5, now I'm 237.
Planning on doing P2 corrections/stall breakers for a week and see if it helps,if anything at least I basically have a meal plan for the week.
Today I'm doing a double protein day, using canned tuna (0g fat, 50 cals, 12g protein)
Tomorrow I'm going to do an egg white and protein shake day (3 egg whites for breakfast, protein shake for lunch and dinner)
Having a yard sale this weekend, will get rid of some of my son's old toys and clothes, should see if any of my fat clothes are not too torn up to sell, but I don't really have any so I guess I should skip that idea.
My Mom is visiting and so is TOM. So I'm pretty stressed, plus school and my cold.
I have a 5 paragraph essay to write for English class, and I don't even have any ideas!!!! It's like, find and article and argue with it, and the only sort of current events things I have an opinion about are immigration and there are a few "Hispanics" in my class that would probably have an issue with that.
Maybe I'll be able to find something, I'll have to check on Yahoo News. Maybe I could do it about HCG!!!

I've been vlogging and for some reason that has caused me to lack on my blogging, even though I prefer blogging...but if you want to catch up my vlogging is on YouTube, http://www.YouTube.com/queenrilly

Halloween Challenge VLCD 1 - TURNED LOAD 3!! - VLOG

Halloween Challenge VLCD 1

Hey everyone, sorry I haven't written in a while, I've been MIA and video blogging on YouTube  <--click the YouTube link for my channel.

So this weekend started on Sept. 10 and I loaded both Saturday and Sunday and only gained 1lb! - I know I SUCK at loading! I did eat like an entire pizza by myself yesterday. No gain.
Maybe I should do one more load day?
Hmmm. Idk. Maybe I'll just do weekend mini-loads. I always say I'm going to do those and then I never do it. So we'll see.

I have no meal ideas planned out, and barely anything to eat (need to go shopping), so today I think I'm going to end up making some beef stir-fry since I have the meat in the freezer and broccoli and onions and stuff in the fridge.

Well, we'll see, and then I'll update later on with calories and everything I ate. Should be a short list since all i have is beef and veggies at the moment lol. TTYL!

Down 2#...again

So yesterday I was going to do an egg day, since that night when I had 3 beers an gained 4# back.
So I still have 3# to lose to get back to LIW.
I had a few eggs for breakfast (as I'm going to do today as well), a pretty good size steak for lunch, and went to a pool party for dinner and had chicken, guacamole, chips and salsa, crackers and brie, a slice of birthday cake, a couple of pork ribs, and 2 or 3 beers. And taadaa down 2#!

Today I'm not going to worry so much, I'm going to go to Cici's Pizza for lunch ($3 pizza buffet), I'll have my eggs for breakfast before we go, and then the pizza, - I'll attempt to take it easy on the bread - and for dinner I'll probably make some sort of beef stir-fry or steak tacos.

I don't know if I'll do a vlog tonight or not, or if I'll just wait and start doing them daily for my VLCDs next week. I need to call my friend so I can go pick up my HCG before this weekend as well. Because I totally space out this weekend and she went to work yesterday, so I don't know when she'll be home! Another girl is counting on us as well, because I was going to mix and set up her syringes for her, but I can't do all that until I get the stuff to do it with!!!

MY FIRST VLOG!!! P3

down 1.5

Can't remember exactly, but this morning I was down 1.5-2#

Worried about tomorrow since I had in-person classes today and I was running around before them,  so I didn't eat anything except a couple of peaches, and then around 5-5:30 I had pizza since I didn't have time to cook anything before I had to leave for my next class.

Trying to find a babysitter is my newest task.
Apparently the government doesn't care about childcare anymore.

What I Ate 8/22/11

Lets see...what DID I eat......?

Hamburger patty, nectarine, one quarter-sized cookie, diet rite soda...
and then later after going to the college for 3-4 hours and getting dehydrated and shit and depressed and ahhhh TODAY SUCKED.
We stopped at McDonald's on the way home.
I had a grilled chicken club sandwich, minus one side of the bun....not the one with mayo - i ate that one lol.
1 small mango-pineapple smoothie
3 chicken nuggets - maybe 4

Don't know and don't care about the calories today!!!


Weighed in about an hour ago (1am) and was only .5 above this morning so I'm expecting a loss in the morning so far. We'll see what it says before I go to bed before I decide what it's going to say in the morning.

I have my first in-person classes tomorrow, AND I HAVE NO TEXTBOOKS!