My Shrinking Story
My Journey Using HCG & Other Weight Loss Methods
I'm always open for help and ideas so don't be afraid to comment!
3/26/12
2/29/12
Content
Well today has been a slow and interesting day, now it's almost time for me to get read for school and got take notes for an hour so I re-learn high school mathematics, lol. Honestly, I just like reviewing and it doesn't bother me so much that I'm in a low-level math class, because I get all A's from already knowing what I'm doing, and I get extra help on anything that I do happen to have issues with, like changing decimals to fractions... Which really isn't needed in real life, but it's interesting to know off-hand.
I am on P3, probably until after my birthday or Spring Break, so for another week or two, and then I'll be back on P2 with my friend and we're going to try keeping it together for a 90-day stint. Knowing me I'll probably break that up a bit, or skip every other day of HCG because of tolerance paranoia, but hopefully we'll keep each other in line so we look great in time for Vegas in July.
I think I've discovered something about me that differs from everyone else that's dieting, or at least alot of people. Weight-loss isn't THE most important thing in the world to me as it is to some people. Yes, I would like to lose weight, but I'm not worried about when or how or even IF it happens. I'm not going to die if I don't get to my goal. Onederland would be nice, but I'm not going to freak out if it doesn't happen. I might be disappointed that I've wasted so much money if I don't make it to 130 at least lol, but I'm not going to freak out about it. I've lost 30-40lbs, that's more than most people do in an entire year!
So P3....
Boring boring P3.....
I've been keeping my food to alot of protein and alot of fat, probably more on the fat side, with some carbs here and there, and I'm sticking at my LIW. I don't really have to worry much on P3 as long as I don't go insane with pastas and bread carbs, since I really don't eat sugar at all anyways. I like Fage, coconut milk/cream, fruits, red meat, chicken and veggies like onions and bell peppers and chilies. P3 is always good for me as long as I'm good to my body, but I get bored of it quickly. So I don't know when I am going to start HCG, I should probably wait until after my birthday and start on the 10-11 with a mini load (hcg and regular p3 eating or fat fast), and then VLCD on the 12th - but who knows with me, I'm not great at sticking to actual "date" as plans.
I think I'll try to lose 10lbs over this next week or two just from eating clean and normal no-carb dieting so I can get back to what I got down to 2 rounds ago and start this next round. Either way I need to keep on this break to get my mindset back on so I'm ready to restrict calories again, and maybe do my HCG with the ABC lol.
Oh well, time to get ready, if I think about it I might update eventually lol.
Keep your heads up ladies, it doesn't matter how long your dieting takes, it just matters that you're trying to make it happen.
I am on P3, probably until after my birthday or Spring Break, so for another week or two, and then I'll be back on P2 with my friend and we're going to try keeping it together for a 90-day stint. Knowing me I'll probably break that up a bit, or skip every other day of HCG because of tolerance paranoia, but hopefully we'll keep each other in line so we look great in time for Vegas in July.
I think I've discovered something about me that differs from everyone else that's dieting, or at least alot of people. Weight-loss isn't THE most important thing in the world to me as it is to some people. Yes, I would like to lose weight, but I'm not worried about when or how or even IF it happens. I'm not going to die if I don't get to my goal. Onederland would be nice, but I'm not going to freak out if it doesn't happen. I might be disappointed that I've wasted so much money if I don't make it to 130 at least lol, but I'm not going to freak out about it. I've lost 30-40lbs, that's more than most people do in an entire year!
So P3....
Boring boring P3.....
I've been keeping my food to alot of protein and alot of fat, probably more on the fat side, with some carbs here and there, and I'm sticking at my LIW. I don't really have to worry much on P3 as long as I don't go insane with pastas and bread carbs, since I really don't eat sugar at all anyways. I like Fage, coconut milk/cream, fruits, red meat, chicken and veggies like onions and bell peppers and chilies. P3 is always good for me as long as I'm good to my body, but I get bored of it quickly. So I don't know when I am going to start HCG, I should probably wait until after my birthday and start on the 10-11 with a mini load (hcg and regular p3 eating or fat fast), and then VLCD on the 12th - but who knows with me, I'm not great at sticking to actual "date" as plans.
I think I'll try to lose 10lbs over this next week or two just from eating clean and normal no-carb dieting so I can get back to what I got down to 2 rounds ago and start this next round. Either way I need to keep on this break to get my mindset back on so I'm ready to restrict calories again, and maybe do my HCG with the ABC lol.
Oh well, time to get ready, if I think about it I might update eventually lol.
Keep your heads up ladies, it doesn't matter how long your dieting takes, it just matters that you're trying to make it happen.
1/24/12
So Tired Of this Sh*&^
I feel... like a FaiLuRe. A FATass FAILURE.
I can't stand myself right now. January has been a total bust. On everything. On everything I want. Nothing helps. I just want to eat CRAP. Not even stuff I would normally eat daily when NOT dieting. Just that complete POISON that floats around everywhere full of corn and corn byproducts. Junk food. Carbs. *sigh* I just can't get my head in the game and it's making me want to give up. Lately I've been saying, "Forget it I'll just be fat forever." Which is stupid. I know how to get the weight off but for some reason fucking CHEETOS and crap are calling me.
You know I hadn't eaten Cheetos in over a year...Over two years even, since I saw "Food Inc." the movie/documentary, so that's probably right around when my son was born in '09.
I just feel like a fatass failure that's never going to amount to anything or get even into ONEderland. It's 44...ok 46.5lbs now, away and I can't even imagine ever getting there. A few months ago I would have been like "Yeah? 46lbs? NO PROBLEM, I'll be there in two months!" Now I'm like, "Ehh, fuck it, I'm just going to stay fat forever." I've given up on everything, I was seriously contemplating marriage and another baby like yesterday and the day before. That's great for some people, but not for me. I don't want to ever get married until I'm in that old people "head over heels" love with gray hair and wine on a rocking chair/porch swing. And as for kids, well one's enough for me until my son can change diapers and keep the little one out of trouble, not to mention babysit. I'm not the marriage type, I want to live. And not vicariously through others. But there I was, thinking about it at least. And that's fine, maybe I will get married and have another baby, but not right at this second, I told myself I would not get pregnant again until I am skinny, so that means if I stay fat I'll never have another kid, ever. EndofStory. *sigh*
So that's obviously not my problem, my problem is that I can't stop eating shit and I've given up on living. Lol. As in I'm having a dieting breakdown and I feel like if I don't lose this weight I'm going to die. If I listened to Dr. Oz I would probably believe that actually. But Dr. Oz is a fucking nincompoop and so it every other TV doctor paid by Oprah and Dr. Phil. (Yes, I read the credits after the shows Dr. McGraw and son.)
I hate how people say (when I tell them I've lost weight), "Aww, that's good so you're trying to get healthy...." NO MOTHERFUCKER, I'M NOT. I'M ALREADY FUCKING HEALTHY. I'm a VAIN BITCH AND I WANT TO LOOK LIKE A FUCKING ROCKSTAR! That's why I'm losing weight. Because my entire life I've been told "Aww you'd be so pretty if you lost weight." I've finally given in and decided to do it just to rub it in their faces and flaunt my new boobs (which I will buy afterwards) in their faces! With my wonderful Arizona tan that I will go outside and get when I have to body to show that much skin like those hookers at my pool did this past summer. No more fucking "tankini's" for me!
So all that sounds terrific, right? Now all I need to do is get my head in the game and follow through, right? Yeah, well, that would work out stupendously IF I could keep my hands out of the cookie jar, the pasta cupboard, the grocery store.
Life would be so much easier if I had an anti-eating disorder instead of an over-eating disorder. I envy those skinny bitches (the term "bitches" I use lovingly, so it's not mean) and their ability to either avoid food or throw it up, or chew it up and spit it out. If it was that easy for me I would have been done with this diet like ...October or December when I was supposed to be!
If I could just stay on track through summer last year I would have been done. And now I can't get back on track, I can't avoid pasta and pastries. Even though I never really normally ate any of that shit in the first place!
I don't know what to do with myself. I just keep stuffing my face. It's not like my "hubby" helps at all he always says he will be he never stops me when I start shoving cookies in my mouth, he just gives me "the look", his look that tells me I know I'm doing something I shouldn't. But he never opens his mouth and in my mouth the food goes, down into my esophagus to sit on top of all the other crap I've secretly scarfed down that day. Today it was Lindt Lindor truffles, hamburgers, Chinese food, milk and cookies. and I'm sure I'll find something else before bed because I won't stop myself. Not today. I'm counting it as "Loading" and I'll bet every day until I get some strawberries and cocoa powder (for my protein shakes) will be counted as "Loading". Then I have to severely reduce and restrict my calories to 2 protein shakes per day. Not because I get hungry and cheat, but because I see food and EAT! I've never been hungry on hCG not even once (except that bout with HhCG), no I've never been hungry, I'm just a food addict that has to be in complete control or else I spiral into oblivion of nasty foods that hurt my teeth - I seriously cannot eat sugary foods at all without getting a toothache, I don't normally eat sweets! So I have to do at least one full week of nothing but 2-3 protein shakes per day with a handful of strawberries or tbs of cocoa powder in each and a piece of bacon in the breakfast (so I can take a vitamin because you have to have some fat or else vitamins will make you sick with protein shakes). In this way I can lose up to 20lbs the first week, I don't have to worry about my calories or water intake and it gets me used to not cheating because I know exactly what I'm allowed and when to eat etc. etc... Like I said I have to be in complete control to get anywhere in the dieting world no matter what sort of plan I'm following (although this is the only one that has ever worked, when I follow the rules!).
Sorry about my rant, I'm feeling kind of hopeless and needed to let it out here.
And for the record. 114lbs is my goal and I WILL MAKE IT!!!!!
FUCK YOU HATERS! Get over it and don't both pretending to "worry" about me. Worry about your fat ass needing to jump on the treadmill for eating a fucking cookie and your ass jiggling while you do it! Sorry if that's mean but everyone should be supported in their journey no matter what their goal is!
Stay strong my skinnies!!!
And if you have any restriction tips or dieting tips or anything, please help!
Maybe just a brush up of the usual, avoid food and chew on ice and drink cold water
I can't stand myself right now. January has been a total bust. On everything. On everything I want. Nothing helps. I just want to eat CRAP. Not even stuff I would normally eat daily when NOT dieting. Just that complete POISON that floats around everywhere full of corn and corn byproducts. Junk food. Carbs. *sigh* I just can't get my head in the game and it's making me want to give up. Lately I've been saying, "Forget it I'll just be fat forever." Which is stupid. I know how to get the weight off but for some reason fucking CHEETOS and crap are calling me.
You know I hadn't eaten Cheetos in over a year...Over two years even, since I saw "Food Inc." the movie/documentary, so that's probably right around when my son was born in '09.
I just feel like a fatass failure that's never going to amount to anything or get even into ONEderland. It's 44...ok 46.5lbs now, away and I can't even imagine ever getting there. A few months ago I would have been like "Yeah? 46lbs? NO PROBLEM, I'll be there in two months!" Now I'm like, "Ehh, fuck it, I'm just going to stay fat forever." I've given up on everything, I was seriously contemplating marriage and another baby like yesterday and the day before. That's great for some people, but not for me. I don't want to ever get married until I'm in that old people "head over heels" love with gray hair and wine on a rocking chair/porch swing. And as for kids, well one's enough for me until my son can change diapers and keep the little one out of trouble, not to mention babysit. I'm not the marriage type, I want to live. And not vicariously through others. But there I was, thinking about it at least. And that's fine, maybe I will get married and have another baby, but not right at this second, I told myself I would not get pregnant again until I am skinny, so that means if I stay fat I'll never have another kid, ever. EndofStory. *sigh*
So that's obviously not my problem, my problem is that I can't stop eating shit and I've given up on living. Lol. As in I'm having a dieting breakdown and I feel like if I don't lose this weight I'm going to die. If I listened to Dr. Oz I would probably believe that actually. But Dr. Oz is a fucking nincompoop and so it every other TV doctor paid by Oprah and Dr. Phil. (Yes, I read the credits after the shows Dr. McGraw and son.)
I hate how people say (when I tell them I've lost weight), "Aww, that's good so you're trying to get healthy...." NO MOTHERFUCKER, I'M NOT. I'M ALREADY FUCKING HEALTHY. I'm a VAIN BITCH AND I WANT TO LOOK LIKE A FUCKING ROCKSTAR! That's why I'm losing weight. Because my entire life I've been told "Aww you'd be so pretty if you lost weight." I've finally given in and decided to do it just to rub it in their faces and flaunt my new boobs (which I will buy afterwards) in their faces! With my wonderful Arizona tan that I will go outside and get when I have to body to show that much skin like those hookers at my pool did this past summer. No more fucking "tankini's" for me!
So all that sounds terrific, right? Now all I need to do is get my head in the game and follow through, right? Yeah, well, that would work out stupendously IF I could keep my hands out of the cookie jar, the pasta cupboard, the grocery store.
Life would be so much easier if I had an anti-eating disorder instead of an over-eating disorder. I envy those skinny bitches (the term "bitches" I use lovingly, so it's not mean) and their ability to either avoid food or throw it up, or chew it up and spit it out. If it was that easy for me I would have been done with this diet like ...October or December when I was supposed to be!
If I could just stay on track through summer last year I would have been done. And now I can't get back on track, I can't avoid pasta and pastries. Even though I never really normally ate any of that shit in the first place!
I don't know what to do with myself. I just keep stuffing my face. It's not like my "hubby" helps at all he always says he will be he never stops me when I start shoving cookies in my mouth, he just gives me "the look", his look that tells me I know I'm doing something I shouldn't. But he never opens his mouth and in my mouth the food goes, down into my esophagus to sit on top of all the other crap I've secretly scarfed down that day. Today it was Lindt Lindor truffles, hamburgers, Chinese food, milk and cookies. and I'm sure I'll find something else before bed because I won't stop myself. Not today. I'm counting it as "Loading" and I'll bet every day until I get some strawberries and cocoa powder (for my protein shakes) will be counted as "Loading". Then I have to severely reduce and restrict my calories to 2 protein shakes per day. Not because I get hungry and cheat, but because I see food and EAT! I've never been hungry on hCG not even once (except that bout with HhCG), no I've never been hungry, I'm just a food addict that has to be in complete control or else I spiral into oblivion of nasty foods that hurt my teeth - I seriously cannot eat sugary foods at all without getting a toothache, I don't normally eat sweets! So I have to do at least one full week of nothing but 2-3 protein shakes per day with a handful of strawberries or tbs of cocoa powder in each and a piece of bacon in the breakfast (so I can take a vitamin because you have to have some fat or else vitamins will make you sick with protein shakes). In this way I can lose up to 20lbs the first week, I don't have to worry about my calories or water intake and it gets me used to not cheating because I know exactly what I'm allowed and when to eat etc. etc... Like I said I have to be in complete control to get anywhere in the dieting world no matter what sort of plan I'm following (although this is the only one that has ever worked, when I follow the rules!).
Sorry about my rant, I'm feeling kind of hopeless and needed to let it out here.
And for the record. 114lbs is my goal and I WILL MAKE IT!!!!!
FUCK YOU HATERS! Get over it and don't both pretending to "worry" about me. Worry about your fat ass needing to jump on the treadmill for eating a fucking cookie and your ass jiggling while you do it! Sorry if that's mean but everyone should be supported in their journey no matter what their goal is!
Stay strong my skinnies!!!
And if you have any restriction tips or dieting tips or anything, please help!
Maybe just a brush up of the usual, avoid food and chew on ice and drink cold water
1/12/12
Wheewww *wipes brow*
I'm feeling better today after losing 2lbs this morning when I total thought I was going to gain.
I had a 17.5oz tub of 2% Fage, 12 strawberries, 1 SF jello, 3 Chocolate cookies, a few chips (cassava), a piece of cake, and ALOT of steak/fat. Maybe I needed a jolt of fat and protein? Well I'm going to try to do it again today! So we'll find out ho that goes tomorrow when I wake up, then I have NO IDEA what I'm going to do tomorrow, I was planning to do an egg day but I think we're leaving late tomorrow night for Las Vegas (planning on messing around - gambling/drinking all night until Saturday when we check into the hotel), but I don't know we might just go early Saturday morning...
I'm starting to get excited about Vegas now. Haha, I don't know whether it's the gambling that's making me excited, or the fact that when we went LAST YEAR I WAS 40LBS FATTER!!
I also got a new duffelbag/suitcase and some sweaters (like to put over my dresses/tank top shirts) and it's always exciting to have new nice things to wear somewhere you don't normally go.
I just have to keep my hubby from spending any more money or we won't have anything to eat or play with in Vegas!!!
My Mom had her day off today so she woke me up early to get in the house this morning and I couldn't get back to sleep. I like to sleep late because it takes time off of the stress of avoiding food ALLLLL day.
I got all of my book for school yesterday, and apparently I did REALLLLLY bad on my Math placement test because I flipped through my math book and it's SUPER EASY! Luckily it will be a refresher and I'll get and awesome grade. ^_^
So until I start feeling like I'm starving again I'M GOOD!
I had a 17.5oz tub of 2% Fage, 12 strawberries, 1 SF jello, 3 Chocolate cookies, a few chips (cassava), a piece of cake, and ALOT of steak/fat. Maybe I needed a jolt of fat and protein? Well I'm going to try to do it again today! So we'll find out ho that goes tomorrow when I wake up, then I have NO IDEA what I'm going to do tomorrow, I was planning to do an egg day but I think we're leaving late tomorrow night for Las Vegas (planning on messing around - gambling/drinking all night until Saturday when we check into the hotel), but I don't know we might just go early Saturday morning...
I'm starting to get excited about Vegas now. Haha, I don't know whether it's the gambling that's making me excited, or the fact that when we went LAST YEAR I WAS 40LBS FATTER!!
I also got a new duffelbag/suitcase and some sweaters (like to put over my dresses/tank top shirts) and it's always exciting to have new nice things to wear somewhere you don't normally go.
I just have to keep my hubby from spending any more money or we won't have anything to eat or play with in Vegas!!!
My Mom had her day off today so she woke me up early to get in the house this morning and I couldn't get back to sleep. I like to sleep late because it takes time off of the stress of avoiding food ALLLLL day.
I got all of my book for school yesterday, and apparently I did REALLLLLY bad on my Math placement test because I flipped through my math book and it's SUPER EASY! Luckily it will be a refresher and I'll get and awesome grade. ^_^
So until I start feeling like I'm starving again I'M GOOD!
1/11/12
Ughhhh I SUCKKK
So as you can tell from the title. I totally suck!!! I just can't seem to keep from eating. I don't think it's hunger, I think it's just because I can't have certain foods, or because I'm really bored and when I'm bored I eat everything in sight, or something. IDK, I have food issues. I just wish I had the type of issues that make me stay AWAY from food instead of eating the world's food supply!
So I'm back to 240 (I don't remember my weight from my last post, so I imagine that it was lower and I was on a better track than today). ANd I really wants to lose 20lbs this week (and bring myself down to 228 or so) but that doesn't look like it's happening. Of course I still have 5 days until the week is over on Sunday. Maybe this weekend in Las Vegas will drop me a few pounds? Last year when I went to Vegas I lost 10lbs! (Including all kinds of food and the "Buffet of Buffets!" 7 buffets for $50 in a 24hr period.) So I'm hoping for the best.
Honestly my plan for this trip is "eat nothing and and only drink vodka and diet soda". Which will save alot of money, but I think on the last day we'll get the "buffet of buffets" again and do our "tour of Vegas food" lol.
I think I wouldn't be so stressed if I at least got down a little before we leave on Friday night or Saturday morning.
I'm really tired of being fat and all of this failure is really taking its toll on my mental state. I'm really on the verge of a complete meltdown and for some reason nobody understands, not even my fellow dieters.
Maybe some of my Ana friends?
It shouldn't be this hard to get where I want to be. I don't know why I keep sabotaging myself. I hate my fat.
So I'm back to 240 (I don't remember my weight from my last post, so I imagine that it was lower and I was on a better track than today). ANd I really wants to lose 20lbs this week (and bring myself down to 228 or so) but that doesn't look like it's happening. Of course I still have 5 days until the week is over on Sunday. Maybe this weekend in Las Vegas will drop me a few pounds? Last year when I went to Vegas I lost 10lbs! (Including all kinds of food and the "Buffet of Buffets!" 7 buffets for $50 in a 24hr period.) So I'm hoping for the best.
Honestly my plan for this trip is "eat nothing and and only drink vodka and diet soda". Which will save alot of money, but I think on the last day we'll get the "buffet of buffets" again and do our "tour of Vegas food" lol.
I think I wouldn't be so stressed if I at least got down a little before we leave on Friday night or Saturday morning.
I'm really tired of being fat and all of this failure is really taking its toll on my mental state. I'm really on the verge of a complete meltdown and for some reason nobody understands, not even my fellow dieters.
Maybe some of my Ana friends?
It shouldn't be this hard to get where I want to be. I don't know why I keep sabotaging myself. I hate my fat.
1/9/12
Hate the weekends!!!
SOOOO, I was downt to 236.5 on Friday right? WELL NOT ANYMORE! Thanks weekend and cheating and being a stupid FAILURE like ALWAYS!!! Shit. I just can't give myself a break can I?
So I've got an all new high for keepig on track and making sure I don't screw it up again. On the bright side I was down 6lbsfor the week yesterday, and I know if I drink a ton of water today I'll find out that today's gain is just water, but still, it SUCKS to see that scale go up doesn't it?!!
Today I'm doing a protein day like I did last week:
Breakfast:
3 egg whites, 1 yolk
2tbs homemade salsa
(already eaten)
Planned for the day:
Lunch:
7oz grilled chicken
2 cups lettuce (this is my worst enemy, I HATE lettuce unless it's drenched in ranch with cucumbers and stuff)
3-4 strawberries
Dinner:
4oz grilled chicken
2tbs homemade salsa
Carbohydrate (7%) 6.15g
Fat (35%) 20.7g
Protein (58%) 74.3g
532kcals
And that with TONS of water should get me back down to where I'm supposed to be. Or at least back to what I was yesterday at 238.5. Though I'm hoping for the 236.5 I was at on Friday.
So I've got an all new high for keepig on track and making sure I don't screw it up again. On the bright side I was down 6lbsfor the week yesterday, and I know if I drink a ton of water today I'll find out that today's gain is just water, but still, it SUCKS to see that scale go up doesn't it?!!
Today I'm doing a protein day like I did last week:
Breakfast:
3 egg whites, 1 yolk
2tbs homemade salsa
(already eaten)
Planned for the day:
Lunch:
7oz grilled chicken
2 cups lettuce (this is my worst enemy, I HATE lettuce unless it's drenched in ranch with cucumbers and stuff)
3-4 strawberries
Dinner:
4oz grilled chicken
2tbs homemade salsa
Carbohydrate (7%) 6.15g
Fat (35%) 20.7g
Protein (58%) 74.3g
532kcals
And that with TONS of water should get me back down to where I'm supposed to be. Or at least back to what I was yesterday at 238.5. Though I'm hoping for the 236.5 I was at on Friday.
1/6/12
TGIF - Week 1 almost done
So my ring is trying to fall off, which is kind of sad because hubby getting it fixed was one of my Christmas presents and pretty soon I'll have to take it off and wait until I'm done losing weight to get it re_sized smaller. But for the next ring I buy I won't have to get it re-sized bigger, I can just take the standard size 7! OR - What if I have to get it re-sized SMALLER?! How crazy would that be?? I've always be a size 9.5-11 in rings and pretty soon I'm going to be able to buy "fashion" jewellery from store that sell those "cheapo" rings (quotations used because that shit is cheaply made, but not cheap).
I'm really excited to think about the fact that if I STICK TO THE DIET REGIMEN, I WILL be wearing those size 5 skinny jeans I have hanging on my wall THIS SUMMER, IN LAS VEGAS! Ok, maybe jeans are not the smartest things to wear to Vegas in summertime, but unless my legs look absolutely FABULOUS I will not be showing them!!!!
I don't believe that losing all this weight is going to make me feel better about my individual body parts, especially because I imagine that I'm going to have lose skin like all of my older counterparts doing the diet. Yes, I know I'm at least 20 years younger than most of them and my skin has a lot more elasticity, but let's face it, I'm fat, and my body probably won't look like a normal person my age's body. On the other hand, maybe I'll get lucky, like I always have been regarding my awesome features and body and luckiness, maybe I'll have an awesome non-flabby body when I'm done with all of this!
Thinking about the bad things that could happen with losing all this weight probably shouldn't be my focus, right? I should probably think of the people MY AGE, and even a few older people who have lost tons of weight and don't have flabby skin. I can always take baths in lotion and do some of those skin tightening wrap thingies they have at fancy-schmancy spas.
What I'm REALLLLLY excited about for this Summer is doing my nails. It will be the first time I won't be a fat chick with fake nails! As a nail technician, I will NEVER tell anyone they are too fat for fake nails. It's never been said to me and I will never say it. BUT--- My nails are TINY and my hands are FAT, so it looks really weird to me to have fake nails, although I really love them... for about a week.
I always get excited about doing my "Vegas Nails" every year. I love having an excuse to have super sparkly, long, and LOUD nails. Maybe I'll even let my real nails grow longer so I can have super long fake nails for Vegas. STRIPPER NAILS! Hahaha, yeah that would be friggen great.
So with all my whining, dreaming, and ranting this morning I have killed an hour of "Gee, I'm bored. I would really like to eat something, because when I'm bored I like to eat...." So that's pretty promising.
I'm down 2lbs today, 8# since Jan. 1.
8lbs in 6 days can't be beat right?
Now I just have to figure out what I want to eat today. Whether I want to have protein shakes or another protein day with tons of chicken like yesterday.
I really don't feel like protein shakes, or the lettuce that I'm supposed to eat with the chicken.
Have I mentioned that I HATE HATE HATE lettuce?
Yeah, I do. It's gross. I'm an iceberg lettuce person, and that's "not healthy enough, it doesn't have enough nutrients..." blah blah.
I even tried making it into a salad yesterday with green leaf lettuce, mushrooms, green onions, salt and pepper, some Italian seasonings... It still sucked.
Give me some good old broccoli or green beans any day, I HATEEEEE leaf greens.
If I think of anything to say I'll probably write more later, but for now I'm going to go have some egg whites for my wonderful breakfast. The only thing crappy about dieting is getting used to food that really doesn't taste that great, no matter how many seasonings you put into it and how much you smile about it all. I will probably be over the anxiety of eating crap like egg whites in about a week and be all happy-go-lucky Happy happy joy joy about it later one, especially when I get back into the 220s and below.
OH! That reminds me, have I mentioned that I'm thinking of just doing a super long round? (As long as my weight loss stay around 1#/day average) I feel like taking breaks from hCG is what really makes me fall off the wagon and fail in subsequent rounds. I get too used to eating normally, So maybe I just should never eat normally but stay on the diet as long as it takes me to gt to goal. (Again, as long as I average 1#/day). Of course as a female, I have a stronger chance of not getting the losses I really want, since men lose the weight alot faster than women and can normally average 1-2lbs/day. All I need to keep me focused and interested in the food and dieting is that 1#/day. Honestly I know I could do it if I tried. SO I WILL TRY!!! And I will make all of my goals, and someday (like nearer to Christmas 2012, or Apocalypse 2012 - whichever you believe will be happening) I WILL BE SOMEBODY'S THINSPIRATION!!! It's kind of exciting right?
I really need to keep in ind that I possibly won't get the sagging skin and kangaroo pouch thing, because I'm super young. What I'm more worried about than that is really literal "saddlebags" on my thighs, and a saggy butt, because I have huge thighs and a giant butt.
But in all honestly I think my age is going to save me from those consequences of having ever been fat.
We will see. -crosses fingers- I really don't want saggy skin anywhere.
I'm not so worried about my stretch marks either for some reason, I guess because I've never really noticed them I'm not so worried about them. I do notice them more now that I'm thinner, but I just figure with plenty of Dead Sea lotion they'll disappear like they always have.
Ok, ENOUGH RANTING!!!
Have a great day with great losses my friend!!!! <3
I'm really excited to think about the fact that if I STICK TO THE DIET REGIMEN, I WILL be wearing those size 5 skinny jeans I have hanging on my wall THIS SUMMER, IN LAS VEGAS! Ok, maybe jeans are not the smartest things to wear to Vegas in summertime, but unless my legs look absolutely FABULOUS I will not be showing them!!!!
I don't believe that losing all this weight is going to make me feel better about my individual body parts, especially because I imagine that I'm going to have lose skin like all of my older counterparts doing the diet. Yes, I know I'm at least 20 years younger than most of them and my skin has a lot more elasticity, but let's face it, I'm fat, and my body probably won't look like a normal person my age's body. On the other hand, maybe I'll get lucky, like I always have been regarding my awesome features and body and luckiness, maybe I'll have an awesome non-flabby body when I'm done with all of this!
Thinking about the bad things that could happen with losing all this weight probably shouldn't be my focus, right? I should probably think of the people MY AGE, and even a few older people who have lost tons of weight and don't have flabby skin. I can always take baths in lotion and do some of those skin tightening wrap thingies they have at fancy-schmancy spas.
What I'm REALLLLLY excited about for this Summer is doing my nails. It will be the first time I won't be a fat chick with fake nails! As a nail technician, I will NEVER tell anyone they are too fat for fake nails. It's never been said to me and I will never say it. BUT--- My nails are TINY and my hands are FAT, so it looks really weird to me to have fake nails, although I really love them... for about a week.
I always get excited about doing my "Vegas Nails" every year. I love having an excuse to have super sparkly, long, and LOUD nails. Maybe I'll even let my real nails grow longer so I can have super long fake nails for Vegas. STRIPPER NAILS! Hahaha, yeah that would be friggen great.
So with all my whining, dreaming, and ranting this morning I have killed an hour of "Gee, I'm bored. I would really like to eat something, because when I'm bored I like to eat...." So that's pretty promising.
I'm down 2lbs today, 8# since Jan. 1.
8lbs in 6 days can't be beat right?
Now I just have to figure out what I want to eat today. Whether I want to have protein shakes or another protein day with tons of chicken like yesterday.
I really don't feel like protein shakes, or the lettuce that I'm supposed to eat with the chicken.
Have I mentioned that I HATE HATE HATE lettuce?
Yeah, I do. It's gross. I'm an iceberg lettuce person, and that's "not healthy enough, it doesn't have enough nutrients..." blah blah.
I even tried making it into a salad yesterday with green leaf lettuce, mushrooms, green onions, salt and pepper, some Italian seasonings... It still sucked.
Give me some good old broccoli or green beans any day, I HATEEEEE leaf greens.
If I think of anything to say I'll probably write more later, but for now I'm going to go have some egg whites for my wonderful breakfast. The only thing crappy about dieting is getting used to food that really doesn't taste that great, no matter how many seasonings you put into it and how much you smile about it all. I will probably be over the anxiety of eating crap like egg whites in about a week and be all happy-go-lucky Happy happy joy joy about it later one, especially when I get back into the 220s and below.
OH! That reminds me, have I mentioned that I'm thinking of just doing a super long round? (As long as my weight loss stay around 1#/day average) I feel like taking breaks from hCG is what really makes me fall off the wagon and fail in subsequent rounds. I get too used to eating normally, So maybe I just should never eat normally but stay on the diet as long as it takes me to gt to goal. (Again, as long as I average 1#/day). Of course as a female, I have a stronger chance of not getting the losses I really want, since men lose the weight alot faster than women and can normally average 1-2lbs/day. All I need to keep me focused and interested in the food and dieting is that 1#/day. Honestly I know I could do it if I tried. SO I WILL TRY!!! And I will make all of my goals, and someday (like nearer to Christmas 2012, or Apocalypse 2012 - whichever you believe will be happening) I WILL BE SOMEBODY'S THINSPIRATION!!! It's kind of exciting right?
I really need to keep in ind that I possibly won't get the sagging skin and kangaroo pouch thing, because I'm super young. What I'm more worried about than that is really literal "saddlebags" on my thighs, and a saggy butt, because I have huge thighs and a giant butt.
But in all honestly I think my age is going to save me from those consequences of having ever been fat.
We will see. -crosses fingers- I really don't want saggy skin anywhere.
I'm not so worried about my stretch marks either for some reason, I guess because I've never really noticed them I'm not so worried about them. I do notice them more now that I'm thinner, but I just figure with plenty of Dead Sea lotion they'll disappear like they always have.
Ok, ENOUGH RANTING!!!
Have a great day with great losses my friend!!!! <3
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