12/30/12 - Day before actual "LOAD"

I've decided to take my injections starting today so the HCG can be sure and get into my system. (I still have to get it out of the freezer but anyways...)
By Monday all the bad food should be completely out of my house (whether eaten or thrown out or given away, whatever.), and Monday I will start VLCDs.
So excited to be back on a strict 500kcal diet, you have no idea! This past week I have just been sick at the thought of food (and certain smells, and my cigarettes, making me wonder about pregnancy and contemplating suicide, lmfao jk don't get your panties in a bunch.) But for real, I refuse to accept pregnancy anymore, and I'm half-contemplating staying on hCG continuously until I reach goal, half hoping to build an immunity against it as a precaution against future pregnancy. (Yes, that's what immunity actually does, it causes you to have problems staying pregnant because your body sees the hCG and stuff "down there" as a threat. I.E: Can cause miscarriage.) I've decided as long as I'm with "hubby" I refuse to have any more children. I would like to find a mate that I am compatible and IN-LOVE WITH before I have another child(or children).

Moving on:

I'm really excited to start this new year with a fresh start and it's exciting that this will be my first ever "New Year's Resolution"!!!! So yeah, I'm pretty stoke about that anyways, and stoked to have so much to look forward to this year including my Las Vegas trip this summer with my other dieting girlfriends (by which time I should have hopefully at least reached 130 - 15lbs from my ultimate goal of 115).

I am sick of letting myself be mine own enemy and I refuse to let me sabotage myself. LOL. That sounds even crazier than all the things I've stated above, but it's true, I am my own worst enemy (besides the obvious fatness). I need to get busy today and this weekend and clean out all of my cupboards or eat all the bad shit for loading on Sunday (I think I'll just drink tomorrow haha...yeah I wish, I don't drink. =/ ) and On Monday all that should be left in my house is P2 foods!! I'm hoping - we're kind of broke until next week (7 Jan) so I'm going to make the best out of what we do have around the house - chicken and beef, possibly some broccoli, I think I have some frozen and canned veggies like peas and grean beans, even though those aren't P2, at least they're GREEN. I have my slide show thinspo going along on my computer background/wallpaper thingy, so everyday I am reminded about my goal and the fact that I really need to step it up the rest of this winter and for Spring and lose this fucking weight so I can be hot for the first time ever in time for summer!!! I mean, I'm fucking gorgeous, but I really need a body that fits my face like my mother has been telling me since I got fat when I was like 7-8. "You'd be so pretty if you lost some of that weight honey." Plus, if I'm ever going to go home to Idaho and see my Aunt & Uncle and my other Uncle and my skinny friggen metal-head cousins, I WANT TO BE FUCKING SKINNY. Especially to rub it in my Aunt's face that I'm not the fat one of the family anymore. I'm sick of being the fat one in the family, you know? I'm sick of her diet food and her "Why don't you join weight watchers, look how much I have lost!" Yeah, LADY you tend to fluctuate really badly with your weight, I FRIGGEN STABILIZE!!!! More proof that hCG is a life changer and even changes your metabolism so it actually WORKS!! <3 my hCG. 
While I'm still talking, does anyone else feel like they should become a laxative junkie? Like seriously. Sometimes it just doesn't come for days and you try everything you possibly can, extra fiber, upping the veggies, psyllium husk, skinny/poop tea, or WHATEVER, and it doesn't work!? I usually keep a bottle of that magnesium citrate stuff around (flavored epsom salt water) and it works withing like 30mins, or overnight/during the night if you drink it before bed. Without that shit sometimes I don't poo FOREVER. 

Does anyone know of a good detox? Like a pill or a fruit juice flush or whatever? Bah, I'm probably too lazy for all that anyways, I tried the juicing thing and it didn't make me poop or feel "young and refreshed and vibrant" or whatever those people and diet Nazis (yes I'm talking about some of you) say it does. at least with my reviews and experiences I'm honest. Not just going around saying the same thing everyone else does!

So I think I'm about done with my post for the day, about to scrounge up some thinspiration for the weekend. Many thanks to my new followers for your support!

Getting Ready for New Years!

Finding it really hard not to inject myself and start the round already, but I will wait until the weekend to load... -whine whine whine-

I'm actually down 1.5lbs today so I'm 243.5lbs. This is still what 8lbs above my LIW? Not something to brag about, but I didn't gain a ton of weight, just about 1lb/day for a week (average). That I can live with, I don't want to think about the fact that I actually put on those pounds since like Thursday or something.

So, I've decided I'm going to attempt to get a goal in of 40lbs every 40 days (1lb/day ave) if I can, I don't know it that's what my actual "goal" I had written up looked like or not, but I figure some people can do it and maybe I can, hCG is a miraculous thing afterall, IDK if it's THAT miraculous though haha...
Let's see that would change my goals to about:
End of these months:
Jan: 210
Feb: 194
Apr: 151
June: Ultimate Goal Weight (120-114.5)
Skinny by Summer!

Of course this is a stretch, so I'll think about the 1lb/day, but stick with my originaly goal by July of like 130.

I just need to stay focused on losing and not lose sight of that!!!
I need to cut my crap and stop fucking cheating and being a fatass. I have to do this, and if I don't get it finished by Vegas I will end up giving up and getting fucking mammoth-sized again.
I need to set my mini goals and stick to them this time.
Weekly goals even, maybe 10lbs the first week of a round, 6lbs weekly thereafter. That's at least 28lbs/month. With 4 active months of losing that would bring me down to 130 like is my goal. So I have to keep those things in sight or I'll spin out of control.

It's a new year, I need to be better and have more control!!!!

Thinspo:

Christmas Day 2011

So I thought I should update for today, I am 10lbs over my LIW of 235.5, I thoguht it was 7 but I think that was yesterday. I don't even want to think about what tomorrow's weight will be like but it's whatever, holidays are finally over (besides New Years), and this week I'm going to be working on (eating everything in the house) cleaning out the cupboards full of carbs and starting anew for the new year!

Today I had prime rib, mashed potatoes and gravy, mac and cheese, choco-chip cookies, cake, fudge, and .... i don't know. I didn't eat alot altogether but I'm sure it will add up especially since I had some soda and for some reason soda has been making me gain the most over this past week.

Anywys I wanted to take a minute and wish the world a Merry Christmas! Hope you all had a great holiday and enjoy the rest of the week.

Christmas

Merry Christmas!!!!

Let's Make It A Skinny New Year!!!!

2012 GOALS

2012 Rounds:

(End of these months)

1 - January: 210lbs
2 - February: 195lbs
(March is P3 and ending with P2)
3 - April: 165lbs

(May is P2 all the way through - 43 day round)

4 - June: 135lbs
July: 130lbs at end of P3 - Beginning P4 - Life Maintenance

So this doesn't get me completely to goal, but hopefully I'll be happy in the 130s, if not I can always change my mind and do one last round before maintaining.
This is just a rough estimate of my goals for this year, but I feel that having it written down will make me stick to the plan better.

Count Down: 8 days until my next round!

I just thought I would stop in and say HIIIIII =]
Also, I wanted to remind people that I am 22 years old and therefore I'm allowed to have a super low goal weight! (114.5-120; though I would be happy with 110 so I have sort of a weight-gain buffer.) I tend to get a few people who are "worried" about my goal weight, but honestly it's a healthy goal, about a size 0-5 with my body, but who knows: Maybe I'll be happy with myself before I get to those "goal" numbers!
I am very happy to have my "Alternative" friends with whom I have a completely supportive relationship no matter how fat or tiny we want to be in the end, or the reasons we're trying to get there. We may not always agree, but we're always supportive, some of you people out there making judgments need to take other peoples' views into consideration. I might give you shit, but I never judge.

So, in 8 days I start my new, NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION CHALLENGE! 
(which I still have to start writing up the spreadsheet for...)
 I'm hoping to finally get out of the 200s by the end of February, which is a goal I know my awesome friends are going to help me achieve. I should have technically been done for good by NOW, but for the past almost 6 months I've just been fucking around and staying around the same weight, yeah I've lost about 15lbs since June, but I should have been able to at least lose 100lbs ( 15lbs/month). So I'm kind of kicking myself right now and thinking of myself as a failure, I know I need to get my head out of that kind of thinking though.
So I should probably write up a goal sheet for 2012 and I will get to that in another post after I publish this one. I'm hoping to be at GOAL GOAL by the time the girls and I leave for Las Vegas in July for our HCG girls "bachelorette" party haha. I don't want to feel like a failure anymore, I want to get this weight off and find something else to obsess over that isn't so depressing.

Christmas - FAIL - Waiting for New Years!

So a round before Xmas was apparently not the best idea, actually I've learned a very good lesson just in case I'm still dieting towards Halloween next year 2012, DO NOT DIET AROUND HALLOWEEN OR AFTER!!! lmao.
I seem to be stabilized around 238 so that's fine except that I'm 9lbs above my lowest weight from the Halloween Challenge.. Ok technically over that even since I did get down to 225.5, but we'll stick with the 229.5 lol since it makes me feel better about my gain.

We are starting a New Years Challenge Dec 30-Jan 1(load days) for 21+ days, so I'm going to completely clean out the house and make this round count and get fucking skinny like I should already be right now instead of still being a fatass. If I didn't fuck around and be so naughty I could have made goal already and be wearing those fucking size 5 skinny jeans I have hanging on my bedroom wall that hubby's neice gave me.

Oh well. I still have until July (when the girls and I are going to Las Vegas together) to get spine skinny and ready for bikinis and daquiris, so hopefully I'll stop fucking around this year.
This will be my first time ever making a New Year's Resolution, let alone a NYR for DIETING! I'm not really a resolution sort of person, but it's time for a fucking change and I love the confidence I gain as I look healthier and less....StayPuft. Lol.

I'm going to be looking at more thinspiration like I used to, hoping this will keep me on task since I used to do alot better when I was actively looking at and posting thinspo.
I'm also going to try to keep up with updates on here and also with video updates on YouTube.

Wish me luck, and I hope you all have a not so naughty Christmas, and a skinny fucking New Year!!!

Christmas Round VLCD 4

Mixing a new vial tonight since the one I've been using is finally empty (I mixed it a few weeks ago and ended up deciding I wasn't ready for P2 so I froze it.... twice... ).
Anyways, I'm thinking the vial I've been using is dead from being frozen and thawed excessively, and hoping that I'll stop having this craving/hunger thing and start losing better, meaning I want WEIGHT not INCHES.
For the Halloween round it went hella slow like this one is doing, but I lost almost 8" one week and ten pounds the next week, which was awesome yeah, I fit back into my pre-preg pants I haven't warn in 3 years, I'm wearing L-XL dresses and leggings, and ALMOST fit into a size 17 in juniors' jeans. But I really want to get out of the 200s!!!

My weight as of today is 237, and I did have bites of carbs here and there today, but I'm hoping not enough to make me gain. I am down from my load weight of 242.5 so that good at least and it's only my 3rd loss day.
My LIW from my P3 was 235 and also what I stabilized at (was basically a P4).
Would like to have done better in my last round and better in that first P3 I did after the Halloween round, but I did gain about 10# (238), then lost 3 and stabilized in this last half at 235.
I'm really trying to push for working this round. Hubby is giving me great support and yelling at me when I even think about cheating, so that's good, my past rounds have been a laugh because he wasn't supportive at all and I cheated alot.

Also, I've been eating mainly beef, which could be the reason my losses are sucking so badly. I need to pick up some chicken and ground turkey, last round when I made turkey goulash I dropped 4# instantly and I was basically nursing on that all day, probably about .5lb of ground turkey meat with chilis, bell peppers, onions, tomatoes/sauce, even a few noodles here and there. And it wasn't a fluke because the next couple of days I lost 3# each (that was the 10# I lost in the Halloween round). And mixing veggies doesn't work for me, normally it makes me gain.

So there's my update. Also, I've been checking out some more thinspiration because that seems to keep me in check, I'm thinking the dieting will be easier in a couple of weeks when my classes are finished for the winter, Chinese is done next week  (Dec 8) and my other classes are done the week after. (Dec 12-16)

Off the wagon and in the gains lol

Not big gains mind you - I hover around 233 most of the time, but I can't seem to stop myself from cheating. Caused by letting myself really cheat a few times and getting re-addicted to food. ... mainly Carbs. CARBSSSS those devilish things. >.>

So yes I'm still on the juice and not eating a lot to cause real gains (minus last night because I ate a lot of Chinese pastries, giving me a 1.5 gain that might be gone tomorrow, depending if I keep eating crap today..)
I can't decide whether to just be in P3 or to keep trying to get myself back into P2 mode (NO CHEATINNNGGGG)
these past couple of seeks have been MEGGA hard because we've been MEGGGAAAA BROKE. So I've had to buy crap and eat crap because CRAP is all we've been able to afford. And seems to be all we're going to be able to afford or a while. I think I should buy a shit-ton of full fat Fage and live off of that because it loves me and really keeps you full. Downside - EXPENSIVE AS FUCKKKK!

Also need to get back into looking at lots of thinspo, I seem to notice when I'm not actively looking at inspiration I fall off into my fat-people ways and eat shit. =/ Doesn't help either that hubby has been bringing home crap or wanting me to cook crap food. I think I should just go back to beef and broccoli every night hahaha, but then he'd want rice or noodles.... Again with the carbohydrates!!!
Halloween didn't help either because of trick-or-treating and sugar sugar sugar candy candy candy. BUT, I did NOT make yummies this year (cookies, Rice Krispy Treats, etc). So I'm kind of proud of that. =] But I DID raid my son's candy bag for "the good stuff". (Hershey's and Reeses) which I'm not proud of.


Also have not been paying enough attention to my studies at all. Which I'm actually supposed to be doing as I type right now because I haven't read my chapters and I have an exam TODAY that I have to finish before leaving for my dads in 6 hours. Crap.


So there's my update.

I hate P3!

Soo sorry I haven't written in a while. I do post VLOGs on occasion http://www.youtube.com/queenrilly but I forget to write, especially since at times like this, I'm supposed to be doing homework! College is kicking my ass, but I'm hanging in there! English is over so that's one less stress for me to think about, even though I'm looking up classes for next semester right now because I don't want the good teachers to fill up! Also, after I pass this Chinese class I'm hoping that I can get into an online version next semester. I feel like maybe English ws a bad class to take oline but maybe oters won't be so bad, because y Religion class is online ands only a little difficult because I haven't been studying!


Moving on and back to HCG!!

I HATE P3!!! So I was downto 228.5 right? Right now I'm at my second day of 235.5, that's up what 6lbs?
I'm too lazy to do any corrections and I know I've been bad so I guess I sort of feel like I should be punished, an feeling fat is totally punishment! But I think I'm about to stabilize so I'm hoping I can drop a couple before it sinks in at 235.5.

Going back to P2 probably tomorrow. But Idk yet, ight keep on P3 until at least Halloween an do a mini-load. I'm beyond making plans anymore because I always throw them into the wind anyways.

Halloween Challenge VLCD 24

So obviously since its day 24 I've decided to extend this round to roughly 35 days. Depending on how much I lose in these last ten days, then I might decide to go to 40....MAYBE.

I lost 11.5lbs last week doing stuff like full fat Fage days, monday I did an egg day...

I've been up and down .5lb the past 3 days, just counting it as a stall, I think my body's trying to catch up to my weight.

Halloween Challenge VLCD 18

Down 8.5# so far this week!!!
And now I'm sick so I don't know what's going to happen with my weight!
Today I had mushroom soup, tomatoes, and half of a Carne asada burrito.
Feel like crap, going back to bed.  :-(

Halloween Challenge VLCD 17

So this week i have been back on track and losing, finally back to LIW and ready to blow that out of the water in the morning.
I did an egg day on Monday, (4 eggs and a fried chicken thigh) down 3#, Fage Total FF yesterday down 2#, and fage today, if I go get eggs I can do another egg day tomorrow but Idk if I want to.
I'm not getting enough water in but I'm getting sick again so I better start.

Sorry I've been MiA busy and infatuated.

Halloween Challenge VLCD 11

Down 1# this morning after tuna protein day.
Was expecting more, but I forget that TOM makes it hard to lose weight, and I should be happy I'm losing 1# at a time.
I have to do an essay for English class that I realy should be working on. I don't really know how to go about doing it. I hate all of these opinion essays and conflict/argument essays, I'm not really argumentative about current events and whatever and it's hard to write things in that way.

I'm going to look for an article about (against) HCG and maybe I can argue with that.

Halloween Challenge VLCD 10

Down 1.5-2.5 today (depending on which weigh I take from yesterday) first weight was 239.5 and second was 238.5, now I'm 237.
Planning on doing P2 corrections/stall breakers for a week and see if it helps,if anything at least I basically have a meal plan for the week.
Today I'm doing a double protein day, using canned tuna (0g fat, 50 cals, 12g protein)
Tomorrow I'm going to do an egg white and protein shake day (3 egg whites for breakfast, protein shake for lunch and dinner)
Having a yard sale this weekend, will get rid of some of my son's old toys and clothes, should see if any of my fat clothes are not too torn up to sell, but I don't really have any so I guess I should skip that idea.
My Mom is visiting and so is TOM. So I'm pretty stressed, plus school and my cold.
I have a 5 paragraph essay to write for English class, and I don't even have any ideas!!!! It's like, find and article and argue with it, and the only sort of current events things I have an opinion about are immigration and there are a few "Hispanics" in my class that would probably have an issue with that.
Maybe I'll be able to find something, I'll have to check on Yahoo News. Maybe I could do it about HCG!!!

I've been vlogging and for some reason that has caused me to lack on my blogging, even though I prefer blogging...but if you want to catch up my vlogging is on YouTube, http://www.YouTube.com/queenrilly

Halloween Challenge VLCD 7 - SICK

Yes, I spent this weekend trying to "Miniload" and went out partying and having fun for the first time in almost 4 years.
Got up to 242.6 (from 237) and this morning I was 238 again. AND YESTERDAY I WENT TO OLIVE GARDEN! I had the never-ending pasta bowl!

I'm dead sick, and feel like crap, for info see ---> my VLOG <--- Click There

So today I've had the leftovers from OG, a 7oz full fat Fage, organic tortilla chips, and Campbell's chicken noodle soup. I'm going to have half a cantaloupe before bed to counteract the salt from the soup and hope all that crap doesn't hurt me too much, but I'm sick and when you're sick you want to be pampered.

I did go to Fry's and Whole Foods tonight and got some soups (broccoli and Portobello Mushrooms) and Coconut Flour to make P(technically 3) sticky rolls, that I'm going to make and eat tomorrow (would that count as part of a fat fast?) ...I bought some half and half just in case it would - cream costs too much.

I made some Choco D (cocoa crack) with peanut butter tonight. It was just like a dark chocolate Reeses! YUM.
I've been making Cocoa crack waaaay too well these past couple of weeks, I'm becoming addicted. And I don't even like it! lol. Maybe Tom is lurking somewhere, even though I thought he just left like the day I started Loading...a week ago.
Maybe it's jsut because I'm sick and feel like a giant baby.

Anyways it's jsut about bedtime so I better get going, sorry I've been MIA!!
School is kicking my ass!!!

Halloween Challenge VLCD 3

Yesterday I lost .5, a measly .5!! But today I lost nothing. Honestly I had a couple of cheats, but not enough to bother anything. The problem was that I have only gotten about a total of 3 hours sleep, in 15 minute intervals.
My car got broken into AGAIN, and this time I just don't feel safe at all, and since this time they busted the window, I keep going outside every 15-30 mins to make sure my car is STILL THERE, I'm afraid to go to school because I don't want my car to disappear while I'm in class.
I'm afraid to go to sleep, I'm afraid to go outside, I can't go ANYWHERE becase someone will jack my fucking car!
SO I'm trying to sell it to my BIL.
He can fix the window (i have no money), and I can get a new car.
I think I'll put it on craigslist as well.

Class today, so it'll be easy to stay on track dieting wise...I don't think I'll stay through my last class all the way. I think I'll leave at the halfway point like a lot do, but only this once, because I don't think I'll be able to stay awake until 10p

Halloween Challenge VLCD 1 - TURNED LOAD 3!! - VLOG

Halloween Challenge VLCD 1

Hey everyone, sorry I haven't written in a while, I've been MIA and video blogging on YouTube  <--click the YouTube link for my channel.

So this weekend started on Sept. 10 and I loaded both Saturday and Sunday and only gained 1lb! - I know I SUCK at loading! I did eat like an entire pizza by myself yesterday. No gain.
Maybe I should do one more load day?
Hmmm. Idk. Maybe I'll just do weekend mini-loads. I always say I'm going to do those and then I never do it. So we'll see.

I have no meal ideas planned out, and barely anything to eat (need to go shopping), so today I think I'm going to end up making some beef stir-fry since I have the meat in the freezer and broccoli and onions and stuff in the fridge.

Well, we'll see, and then I'll update later on with calories and everything I ate. Should be a short list since all i have is beef and veggies at the moment lol. TTYL!

Down 2#...again

So yesterday I was going to do an egg day, since that night when I had 3 beers an gained 4# back.
So I still have 3# to lose to get back to LIW.
I had a few eggs for breakfast (as I'm going to do today as well), a pretty good size steak for lunch, and went to a pool party for dinner and had chicken, guacamole, chips and salsa, crackers and brie, a slice of birthday cake, a couple of pork ribs, and 2 or 3 beers. And taadaa down 2#!

Today I'm not going to worry so much, I'm going to go to Cici's Pizza for lunch ($3 pizza buffet), I'll have my eggs for breakfast before we go, and then the pizza, - I'll attempt to take it easy on the bread - and for dinner I'll probably make some sort of beef stir-fry or steak tacos.

I don't know if I'll do a vlog tonight or not, or if I'll just wait and start doing them daily for my VLCDs next week. I need to call my friend so I can go pick up my HCG before this weekend as well. Because I totally space out this weekend and she went to work yesterday, so I don't know when she'll be home! Another girl is counting on us as well, because I was going to mix and set up her syringes for her, but I can't do all that until I get the stuff to do it with!!!

Beer is BAD

I had three pints of PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon) last night, and a pretty good amount of peanuts, and OVERNIGHT, GAINED 4LBS!!!
I was floored.

So I had Seafood pasta tonight and tomorrow I'm doing an egg day and this week I will be replacing meals with juicing.

There's my crappy update of the day lol.

New vlog, DOWN 1#

Hey everyone, so yesterday I had yogurt, half a brownie, steak, and stir-fry right? well, to my surprise (thinking that brownie was going to make my shoot myself, lol) DOWN 1LB!
Only one left to get to LIW and blow it out of the water before next weekend!!


IDK what I'm eating today, or drinking for that matter since our water is off because someone broke the plumbing again.....
So far today I'm having a cup of yogurt with walnuts and strawberries.

It's really not as good as it sounds, i dont like fruit and nuts to be mixed lol.
Or nuts and yogurt for that matter.

Might update later, ttys

2ND VLOG!!! P3

Following this post is my Vlog that I made this afternoon before I went to class.
After class I ate half a brownie. YUM. bad bad bad, but YUM. lol.

Then I went home and made stir-fry and gave everyone else buckwheat noodles, but i didn't have any. =[

Then I went to my next class, and when I got home I made a small steak (probably about 150g with a cup of yogurt, strawberries, and walnuts, YUM.

So we'll see how I do in the morning, tomorrow IDK if I'm going to do an egg day or just make tomorrow a juicing fast day... I never know for sure what I'm going to do...

MY FIRST VLOG!!! P3

The Aftermath

DOWN 2#!!!!

Doing and egg day today. Mostly because I REALLLLLY want deviled eggs, lol.
But eating a dozen egggs seems a bit MUCH, we'll find out if I make it through the day, LOL.

Will probably update later, not much to talk about right now =]

Steak Day P3

So today was easy to do a steak day since I was preoccupied all day with studying and schoolwork! Oh yeah, and going to my classes.

So I spent all morning studying History (from 8.30a-1.30p), then went to History class (@3p), went to class, got home around 4.30p, studied my Chinese from 4.30p-6.15p, printed out some Chinese worksheets for writing characters, went to class (7-10p), Stopped on the way home and got a carne asada burrito with only pico de gallo as my steak day.

Took my History quiz, got 95% because of a stupid trick question, that if my teacher REALLY went by the book, I would have gotten 100% on!!!! Bahhhh


So I'm hoping for a loss tomorrow, especially after my stupid 2# gain this morning, that was ridiculous.
Proud moment of the day?
My friend in Chinese class opened up a Kashi granola bar, I looked into my purse at Stacy's brownie from when we went out last night, and I closed my purse and put it on the floor and forgot all about the brownie until I got home and finished my burrito.
Still have NOT touched it!!! =]

The Force has been strong with me today, 555. ("ha ha ha" - Thai "lol")

Hope I Didn't Blow Today!

So I was down this morning right, 1#.

Well today I had about 8oz 2% Fage yogurt with half a peach, some vanilla and saccharin.
A turkey sandwich.
Hot wings, salad, like 4 french fries, and 1/8 of a brownie.

So I'm hoping I either stay the same tomorrow or lose.
Gaining would SUCK.

Anyways, went out and am about to blog about the food on my food blog, http://rillyshrinkingfoodie.blogspot.com/
TOMORROW.
Tonight, I'm going to bed lol. I've studied most of the day and I've still got more studying to do before class tomorrow afternoon, and I have a quiz to take tomorrow.

Cleaner is Better

So with yesterday's 0% Fage and 2% Fage, and beef and veggie stir-fry (even though I made lo mein noodles, and ate them), has me down 1lb! Not much to be excited for, but I still have to get rid of 3lbs more to be at LIW.
And then I have to lose 10lbs more to be at the weight I want to start next round at!!!! (225lbs) So I'll even have the SLIGHTEST chance of making it to 200lbs by the end of the Halloween challenge - Which I was thinking of extending to make it into Onederland, but I really like the thought of being in P4 for Halloween so I can eat some of the candy =]
We shall see! I don't know what I'm doing yet, I could just make Halloween night a planned interruption I suppose. Any ideas?

For those of you who don't know about it and are interested:
Skinnier By Halloween Challenge
Loading starts Sept 10th-11th
VLCD starts Sept12th
There are no rules about protocols, cheating, who's doing what right, and so on.
The only rules are as follows:
Do NOT be a POP COP or talk shit about other peoples' protocol or MOP (my own protocol).
You MUST post a scale picture everyday showing your daily weight.

This is an open challenge with one reward, you WILL be lighter by Halloween, and that much is guaranteed as long as you don't cheat YOURSELF.
This is a challenge for a short round (23 days), followed by 3 weeks of P3 and you will enter Halloween on P4D7 and ready to eat some sweets!
You may extend this round AFTER STARTING WITH THE GROUP.
You cannot get on the roster using this challenge as a way to extend your round.
I will keep track of everyone's weights using a Google spreadsheet and it will be available daily.
To join: add my Facebook Account,(<--click there) and then send a message with subject line as "Halloween Challenge" or "Alt HCG"

So there's the information.
JOIN JOIN JOIN!
Official time to sign up is from September 5th-9th, But you can put your name on the list at anytime after you are added into our secret society group. If you're afraid of people on your facebook finding out about your weight loss using HCG, have no worries about our group, it is completely invisible to anyone that is NOT in the group. We like it that way and if you compromise our privacy you will be booted and banned.



In other news, waiting as always for my BB cream to get here, hubby takes the mail key to work everyday so I have to wait and hope everyday that when he checks the mail later on, he's holding a package. LOL. Yeah I'm a little bad at being patient, I've been asking him for the past week if we got any packages. >.<

Still waiting for TOM to leave. That bastard.

HATING P3!!!

So as we all know, I'm great at stabilizing, but I FUCKING HATE P3!!!
I'm not great at stabilizing until I stop being a dumbbutt, and eat slightly normally. Which I haven't been doing. But I'm not one of those people who's going to use college as an excuse. If anything college makes it easier to NOT EAT. BUT, it also makes it easier to stop for pizza on the way home because I'm too lazy to cook dinner between or after classes.

I have a Hungry Howie's addiction.... Especially when their large pizzas are only $5, and they're soooooo yummy!
I'll do a food blog about them someday. Apparently most people have never heard of Hungry Howie's....Of course I never had either until my friend's birthday out in Surprise....and when I went over there to visit and we got hungry so I wanted to order the pizza she had on her birthday....Anywho! LOVE IT. Papa John's USED to be my favorite commercial pizza joint, but NOT ANYMORE.

I still have to get my History book, tomorrow preferably, since I have a test on due on Tuesday.
I already got this week's assignment for English done (due next Saturday), and Tuesday's DUE assignment for History done, as of today, I just, like I said, have to get my textbook for History class (they were out and on order when I went to get it last week),....Oh and I am going to get a printer, since I have to print out my assignment for History class this week. And there's the fact that it would jsut be nice to HAVE a printer...COUPONS!!!!! I am totally destined for CRAZYCOUPONLADY status whenever I get a printer and get time to go to all the sites and print out coupons....and go shopping. Usually going to the store is like CLOCKWORK for me, but lately, I'm like, "blegh whatever."

So I've gained back 4#, I'm sitting at 239.5. WHICH I AM NOT PROUD OF. But I'm not sure if eating is the problem or if I've gained purely because of TOM. Who is visiting, even though I wish I could kick his ass out of here!!!

Took my Apidexin today, which I have been too lazy to do since starting P3 (thanks again TOM), but maybe I'll keep getting up early enough to take it and I'll shoot this weight back down.

Hopefully my attempt at a juicing fast next week will also help get rid of this gained weight, and a ton of water weight... Because I'm going to try sticking to that for a week and see how that goes as a pre-P2 cleanse sort of thing.

My skin is realllllly getting bad breakouts for some reason, on my temples... I don't normally get acne anymore, one or two here and there, yeah, but not like an actual BREAKOUT. It's annoying.
Can't wait for my BB cream to get here, it should arrive this coming week sometime. I'M EXCITED!
OH. Also, just found some Frederic Fekkai conditioner for $5 at Marshall's yesterday, can't wait to try it out and give you all a review. (I guess I should probably start a beauty-review blog?) Let me know what you think aboout the idea. Got some new stuff I'd love to tell about sometime.


Nothing else to talk about tonight, I don't think...
Oh, I think the only hard thing about college so far....AND about HCG, is being a mom.
Shit is not made for moms.
If you ever think about having kids, that's awesome, but wait until you're old, like 30. I feel like I've lost my entire life, you know, the "college kid goes out and has fun" sort of life. It's going to be really sad when I start doing all that kind of stuff when I'm like 30 and my son's old enough to watch himself while I go out.
I would say wait until your 30s or don't have kids at all.
It kind of makes me feel sorry for my own mother, lol. She finally got her first child all grown up and it's her turn to have fun, and then out I come. Not that it stopped her from having her own life, but not until I was 5 and would stay home by myself (my insistence, with my neighbor-lady checking in, or me playing at her house all day). I was HORRIBLE to babysitters. Always independent, if my mom wasn't there, then no-one should be. Lol. I suspect my son will be the same way, but he'll also be brought up to be super independent and naturally intelligent like I was.


Alrighty, going to smoke a fag and go to bed, nighty night!

down 1.5

Can't remember exactly, but this morning I was down 1.5-2#

Worried about tomorrow since I had in-person classes today and I was running around before them,  so I didn't eat anything except a couple of peaches, and then around 5-5:30 I had pizza since I didn't have time to cook anything before I had to leave for my next class.

Trying to find a babysitter is my newest task.
Apparently the government doesn't care about childcare anymore.

What I Ate 8/22/11

Lets see...what DID I eat......?

Hamburger patty, nectarine, one quarter-sized cookie, diet rite soda...
and then later after going to the college for 3-4 hours and getting dehydrated and shit and depressed and ahhhh TODAY SUCKED.
We stopped at McDonald's on the way home.
I had a grilled chicken club sandwich, minus one side of the bun....not the one with mayo - i ate that one lol.
1 small mango-pineapple smoothie
3 chicken nuggets - maybe 4

Don't know and don't care about the calories today!!!


Weighed in about an hour ago (1am) and was only .5 above this morning so I'm expecting a loss in the morning so far. We'll see what it says before I go to bed before I decide what it's going to say in the morning.

I have my first in-person classes tomorrow, AND I HAVE NO TEXTBOOKS!

Lucky Duck I Am!

Only gained .5# from yesterday's crazy eating!!!
So today and the rest of ....well as long as I still have HCG left...I'll have to look and see about how much I do have....eek. Anyways, until I run out of HCG, I NEED TO LOSE AT LEAST 5#!!! Which I totally know is do-able. And I don't have to worry about any crazy food exscursions because it's not the weekend and we don't have money to go out lol.
I was wanting to go out this weekend and do a new food blog once I'm into P3, but we're not going to have the funds to do it this week. Maybe I should blog about whatever food I MAKE. Lol. Yeah, I'm SURE people would be interested in THAT *rolls eyes*.

As the end of the month is rolling around once again, I need to ask you all a favor! Can you PLEEEEEASE click the google ads on my page? 
I know it's SUPER ANNOYING of me to ask, but there's not point in anyone clicking anything if there's not enough to make a difference. You guys are amazing, and if I get enough add's I'll be able to try out new things and do reviews on them. If you have anything you want to beeee reviewed before YOU try it, let me know! I would love to be your Guinea-pig!


I did end up being in ONE picture from yesterday and I have to say, I was surprised when MY LEGS LOOKED ALMOST A NORMAL SIZE!!! Instead of looking like a couple of huge tree-trunks. It got me excited. Especially after some ignorant drunk jerk asshole called me a roly-poly yesterday! And him and his muscles were bigger than my entire body. Fucking steroid freak. He probably falls over and does somersaults trying to find his dick!

Sorry, felt like ranting there. One more reason I'm a white person who hates white people....ok I hate all people. But white preppy/bmx/steroid freaks are amongst the worst people I've ever come across, and in THIS city, there's ALOT of bad people to cross paths with.
NOBDOY IS FUCKING RAISED TO HAVE ANY SORT OF FUCKING MANNERS ANYMORE.
Some people should be put in jail just for having kids if they're not going to raise them right.
Ok apparently I wasn't done ranting yet lol.
I hate how ignorant people are of others.

All this work I've done and now I'm back in elementary school getting called names by asshole white jocks.
It's really depressing and makes me want to eat. And I'M NOT an emotional eater usually. I'm an "I want my mommy and daddy" sort of emotional person.

It makes me feel like all I'm doing is for nothing if people can't even see it.

MY HCG RECIPES FOR P2!!!

So I decided it was about time to put some HCG-friendly recipes on here since I know alot of people have trouble figuring out what to eat and how to make it, and most of the recipes out there are for P3!

Some recipes mix veggies, so if you don't want to risk that, just use more of one of the veggies and count it as your vegetable for that meal.

Stuffed Cabbage
100g sliced/chopped sirloin (can also use ground beef)
7 Large leafs of cabbage (I just use a head of green cabbage)
1/4 small onion - diced
salt, pepper, garlic powder, parsley flakes or fresh parsley - to taste

For this I spray the pan with Pam and cook the meat and onions together with seasonings in a pan. Steam 4 leaves of cabbage in a small amount of water in a small saucepan, until it's soft enough to roll.
take three of the leaves of cabbed and slice thinly, and then mince to make it sort of "rice" looking, and when meat is almost cooked, throw the cabbage into the mixture.
Spoon mix and cabbage rice onto cabbage leaves, roll them up and hold together with a toothpick.


Cabbage and Tomato Soup
1 Med. Tomato - sliced or diced
1 C Cabbage - roughly chopped
1C chicken broth
1-2 C water (depending on how strong your chicken broth is)
2tbs diced onion - to taste (use about 1/8-1/4 small onion)
2tbs bell pepper - to taste (i use about 1/4-1/2 medium size)
salt, pepper, garlic powder, red chili powder, parsely - to taste

Bring to a boil and let cook on med-low heat for 15-30mins depending on how cooked you like your veggies.
Sometimes I'll chop and add in my 100g of beef or chicken and simmer it with the broth and water while i'm chopping the veggies. YUM.


Beef (or Chicken) Fajitas
Lettuce leaves
100g your choice of chicken or beef - sliced into strips and halved
1/4 small onion, sliced into strips
1/4 med bell pepper, sliced into strips
salt, pepper, garlic powder, chili powder, cilantro, 1 tbs lemon juice - to taste

Saute meat, onions, peppers and seasonings until done, wrap in lettuce leaves taco style - Fast and yummy!


Meatloaf
100g ground beef
1 egg white
1 grissini or melba - crushed
1 small (Roma sized) tomato -diced
1/2 can tomato sauce
1tbs mustard
1/8 small onion -diced
1/8 bell pepper - diced
salt, pepper, parsley, oregano, garlic powder
Personal size loaf pan - I got mine at Ikea for like $1, could also use a small casserole dish or oven-safe bowl.

Preheat oven to 350-400 degrees F.
Mix together diced veggies, beef, egg white, crumbs, tomato, seasonings, and mustard into loaf. Place into loaf pan. Mix tomato sauce with seasonings to taste and pour on top of the loaf as desired. Stick it in the oven and cook for about 30 mins (@ 400) to an hour (@ 350), or until done (use a meat thermometer - done at 165 degrees, or when a toothpick comes out clean of meat.)



Vanilla-Mocha Coffee "Protein Frapp"
2c Ice
2 packets instant coffee (I have Taster's Choice individual pack because it was on sale)
1 Scoop vanilla protein powder (I used body fortress 100% whey - $15 at walmart for 2lbs)
2-3c water
2tsp vanilla
2 packets sweetener & 2tsp unsweetened cocoa powder
(OR 6 drops of chocolate stevia and additional unflavored stevia to taste)

Mix in a blender until desired consistency (add water slowly and as much as YOU want, I like mine a little thick). YUMMY BREAKFAST with about 3g fat. Makes a full blender (5 cups)
You can use this in place of a meal on to go or use as added protein.



As I continue getting bored with food choices I'll try other things and post the recipes.
All of these recipes are my creations because I'm not really one for following recipes, I make stuff up as I go along.

Same As Yesterday

So my weight didn't move, which is MUCH BETTER THAN GAINING.
Tomorrow I plan on gianing though. I was out on the lakes all day and ate alot of stuff I shouldn't have. ALSO, I don't think I've barely drank ANY water at all.
I'll attempt to make up for it tomorrow, hoping to make tomorrow a sort of Fage Day, but with 2% Fage instead of Fage Total (full fat). We'll see how that goes! Yikes.
I have alot to do tomorrow, I have to go into the college and talk to the financial people, and go check into stuff elsewhere.
I might go to the college but I don't feel like sitting around the other place AT ALL. But I do need to find a daycare for Stacy for when I have my first class on Tuesdays and Thursdays.... English Comp I think...

Anyways, I ate egg whites, beef, hamburger, nuts, fruit, and popcorn today. Didn't count calories and don't care about it right now, I'll deal with it tomorrow, I only have to lose 6lbs (from yesterday and today) to make it to my goal of where I want to be at the end of this vial of hCG.
Sooooo. Wish me luck, I think I can lose it in no time if I work a correction or two, and eat as clean as possible.

Hellooo COLLEGE! Down 1# Today

So I was down .5 yesterday, and today I'm down another 1lb! Yay 236!
I weighed before I went to MIL's for dinner and I was at 234.5!
Probably be more in the morning.
I was running around all day getting enrolled and getting my classes, so I didn't eat until like 2.30p and had a nectarine.
So we came to MIL's, and I had 4 tortillas and about 8oz beef. So we'll see, I'm seeing it as sort of a "steak and mug cake day" lol. So we shall hope it doesn't gain or stall me!

I'm guessing I'm around 600cals...probably more like 800.

But I finally got into college and enrolled, and classes start Monday and Tuesday. I'm really excited, but freaked out at the same time because I haven't gone to school in three years.
Haven't decided on a major, but because all the ones I'm thinking of are for the same type of degree I still take basically the same classes and all the same required classes.
I can't decide between History, Chinese, or English.

Ok I'm going to end this, tome to go home, I hate being near my MIL lol.

What I Ate 8/19/11 & WOO NEW COMPUTER!!

YAY NEW COMPUTER! Sony Vaio. I don't think I've EVER had a name brand computer.
Now I get to play games, and start college online...all kinds of exciting and fun stuff!

Here's what I ate:
Breakfast:
Denny's Senior Grilled Chicken Breast w/ Salad
Unsweetened Iced Tea
Total: 161cals

Lunch:
100g Non-fat Cottage Cheese
1 White Nectarine
Total: 145cals

Dinner:
Vitamin Water ZERO
most of a slice of Cheese Pizza (yeah I know I wasn't going to eat anything, it was my son's pizza but he didn't eat like half of it and i was tired of holding it for him.
Total: 290 cals

Total for the day: 596 cals


Maybe now that I have a computer I can start  "Vlogging" =D ....ok probably not until I figure out how to not look like a loser doing it. =/

Have a great night =] Big losses everyone!!!

P3 ICE CREAM Recipes

Yes, I'm already excited about going into P3 next week!!!


All Recipes Make About 1 Quart.


Almond Praline Ice Cream
2 3/4 C. half and half
1/4 C. Splenda
Pinch of salt
3 eggs
3/4 C Almond Praline powder (see recipe below)
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/8 tsp almond extract

Combine half and half, splenda, and salt in a small saucepan - heat until bubbles start to form around the edge and mixture is warm. Whisk eggs in a small bowl. Carefully add a few spoonfulls of hot cream mixture to eggs to gradually warm them.
Pour egg mixture back into saucepan and continue to cook over low heat until custard thickens slightly and reaches 106 degrees on a candy thermometer. Remove from heat, pour through a strainer into a small bowl set in another blowl of ice water. Stir in erator until ready to freeze.
Pour into the ice cream maker and follow maker's instructions for freezing.

                      Almond Praline

Make ahead of time and keep in an airtight container. Sprinkle it in top of ice cream or sundaes, or use it as an ingredient for ice cream. substitute chopped pecans for almonds to make Pecan Praline.

1 tsp. Coconut Oil

1/2 C Splenda

2 tbs water

1/2 blanched slivered almonds or pecans, lightly toasted

Lightly oil a cookie sheet or a large piece of foil with coconut oil. Combine Splenda and water in a small heavy saucepan. Cook over medium-low heat without stirring until Splenda melts.

Pour in nuts, tipping saucepan to cover nuts with caramel mixture as much as possible. Cook for another minute or two and immediately pour out onto oiled cookie sheet or foil and allow to cool.

As soon as praline is cool, break into pieces and blend into powder.

Store in an airtight container immediately after blending.

Chocolate Gelato

1 tsp. plain unflavored gelatin

1/4 C cold water

1 1/2 C half and half

1 1/2 C heavy cream

2 tsp Instant espresso coffee powder

1/2 C Splenda

3oz. unsweetened chocolate, melted

1 tsp vanilla extract

pinch of salt

Soften gelatin in cold water. Heat half and half and 1/2 cream in a heavy saucepan over low heat until bubbles form around the edge. DO NOT BOIL. When cream is hot, sprinkle in coffee and add splenda and gelatin. Stir to dissolve gelatin and remove from heat. Whisk melted chocolate into hot cream, stir in vanilla and salt. Pour mixture through a strainer into a medium-sized bowl. Place saucepan in a pan of ice water to cool mixture.

Cover and chill in the refrigerator until ready to freee. Whip remaining heavy cream until thick but not stiff, and fold into chilled mixture just before freezing. Pour mixture into ice cream maker and follow maker's instructions for freezing.

Philidelphia-Style Vanilla Ice Cream

1 C heavy cream

2 C half and half

1 tbs vanilla extract  OR seeds from a vanilla bean

2/3 C Splenda

dash of salt

Combine ingredients in a blender and blend until splenda dissolves. Chill in the refrgerator until ready to freeze. Pour into ice cream maker and follow maker's instructions.


Tangerine Buttermilk Ice Cream
1 C Tangerine juice (about 1 1/4lb before juicing)
1 C Buttermilk
1 1/2 C half and half
1/3 C Splenda
1 tbs lemon juice
2 tbs Triple Sec (orange flavoured liqueur
dash of salt

Combine in a blender and blend until smooth. Cover and chill in the refrigerator until ready to freeze. Blend for a few seconds before pouring into the ice cream maker, follow maker's instructions.



All Recipes Are From The Book:
From Your Ice Cream Maker by, Coleen and Mark Simmons
Tailored for P3 by ME!

Slow and steady wins the race...

Down .5# this morning.

Also, went to Denny's this morning and had a grilled chicken breast and salad. About 140 cals I think.
I don't know whether to do extra protein or 500 cals today...
I guess we'll see tonight.

Sorry I haven't been updating with what I eat, but I forget to while I'm on my phone only.
Should be going to look at new computers later on today. If not I'll order one for ship-to-store if they don't have any cheap and powerful ones in stock. I need a computer with good graphics and tons of memory.

I'm excited lol. It only puts me one step closer to getting my associates through online classes at a local community college. Then I'll only have to go to University for 2 years I think.
I'll get that sorted out later on.

Have a good one!

YES IT WORKED

So I have invented my own correction day and it worked AWESOMELY!

DOWN 3LBS THIS MORNING!! INTO NEW NUMBERS! FINALLY!

Will write later, just thought I'd post my results!

Reply to BB

Hi! Sorry it wouldn't let me reply in a comment:
No it wasn't my first VLCD or my frst round.
I don't remember the post you commented on, 8/14 I think? But I had been at my dad's for a week and was basically cheating all over. Not even for hunger, just because when I'm there I eat whatever ends up in front of my face, BAD ANCIENT HABIT.
So I'm trying to get back on track but I bonked up and ate crap yesterday...
Sooo I spent today attempting to fix it.

If this doesn't answer your comment, ask again please lol, I'm really bushed tonight, long day.

And yes I know if I eat clean the urges will subside. :-) I just have to keep telling myself to stick to the plan! I have sooooo far to go still!
Hoping for 200 by Halloween.

No computer....

So hubby broke the comp charger so he's going to get me the new computer I need for school and later we'll buy the plug for the old comp and give it back to my dad.

Until then I'm on my phone.

Gained 2# back from yesterday's horrible escapade.
Did an egg white and protein shake day, right now I'm sitting on 499cals, 9g fat, 21 g carbs, and ----- dun dun dun, 79g PROTEIN! Awesome right!?
I feel great.
Even though I had a emotional breakdown earlier because I spilled my dinner (egg whites) on the floor-through in liquid form. I BAWLED.
Tom should be here soon.

Feeling awesome now, had dinner (bought carton egg whites) and now I'm eating for hubby to get home and I'm ready for bed lol.

I feel skinnier if that makes any difference?
We'll see in the morning.
I really hope I lose something and stay in the freaking 230s!

If you read this far, it won't hurt to click my ads and check out some great sites!

What I Ate 8/16/11

95% lean hamburger 100g
1 slice American cheese
2 slices onion

hot dog
SF chocolate pudding

totino's party pizza

50% fat for the day - does that mean if I eat 230 more cals of just fat, I can classify today as a fat fast day? =P

Today's total: 777cals


YEAH YEAH I'm not proud of it but that's what I ate, and I'll probably lose, but don't you try it because most people wouldn't lose with half the stuff I eat on P2.

About To See New Numbers!!!

DOWN 2LBS TODAY!!!! So I'm feeling back on track, FINALLY!
Back to where I was when I went to my dad's and ate WHATEVER FELL IN FRONT OF MY FACE.
So , if I lose just 1lb in the morning, I'LL BE SEEING NEW (not previously lost) WEIGHT!!!


OMFG I HATE THE FREAKING INTERNET!!!!!!
I had this entire blog written out and I pushed "publish", and POOOOOOOF!
FUCKING GOOGLE BASTARDS!!!!!
STOP BUYING EVERYTHING I LOVE AND FUCKING IT UP!!!!
I HATE YOU GOOGLE PEOPLE!!!!
(Did I mention that Google flipping ruined YouTube as well? YouTube used to be good before Google bought it and effed it all up.)


Ok, back to re-writing my blog.

So I don't know what I'm going to for meals or eating today. I might have a hamburger for lunch and then have 3 hard boiled eggs for dinner again.
I was thinking about doing 4-1 scoop protein shakes instead of meals for the rest of the week to kick this weight. I could do it every other day, meals, shakes, meals, shakes...
I need to really get rid of 10# this last week I have left of HCG, so I'll be in the 220s for next round (Halloween challenge).

I might do a mini load on Friday or Saturday, to kick start the last week's losses....Unless this is my last week, then I'm screwed. It's all going to go by however much HCG I have left. So I need to kick it into gear RIGHT NOW. To get where I need to be. Losing weight I've already lost is soooooo retarded!!!!! I hate myself for letting it happen. 3 TIMES THESE PAST MONTHS (July-August).
I've only lost 13lbs since July 5th!!!! Ridiculous!
I need to get my ass in gear and get to work on losing this fat if I really want to make it to goal by next spring. I should be able to make it to the 130s by Christmas!!!! BUT I'VE GOT TO GET MY ASS IN CHECK!!!

My first attempt at a youtube video!!

Asking people if they want me to do eyeshadow/makeup tutorials lol.

Sorry it sucks.

What I Ate 8/15/11

SOOOOO
Instead of making meatloaf, I made hubby a hamburger and I had 3 hard boiled eggs.

Here's what I ate today:
4oz Lean, thin, low/no fat sirloin steak w/ 1 tbs of mayo
1 SF Hunt's Snack Pack Gello cup
1 Diet Rite Pure Zero Cola
3 Large Hard Boiled Eggs (with yolks)

Grand total: 490 calories!!!!

So I'm done for the day and I have to say, I'm really NOT hungry, just the normal mental cravings...like cookies... LOL

Can't really think of anything else to talk about so I'm going to end this earlier than I normally would. If I think about something later on, I'll update.

MORNING ALL!

Down another pound this morning from my Gyro day last night =] That's encouraging.
Going all POP today and see if I can't kick it into overdrive. Hamburgers for lunch and dinner today....I might just have steak for lunch and make meatloaf for family dinner, but I don't really feel like cooking so much. I might just use some of the hamburger and make hubby Thai beef and rice.

I can't think of anything else to say, I'm soo tired. I went to sleep around 4am, and had to wake up at 10 or 10.30 this morning.

I decided to take my Apidexin this morning, mostly just to wake up, but it could boost my losses tomorrow. I doubt it, but it could happen lol. If anything the HCG will burn fat and the Apidexin will build muscle.

I'll update later on, tonight.

UPDATE 8/14/11

So the whole salad thing didn't work out. It was spinach, I HATE SPINACH, and FYI: strawberries and chicken do NOT go together!!!
So I had a protein shake for lunch.
And for dinner I had a Gyro, which I will be doing a food blog on after I'm done writing this. http://www.rillyshrinkingfoodie.blogspot.com/

So I'm roughly at 779 cals for the day.
I might have a couple of bite of my son's pretzel later on though.

Strawberry Chicken Salad Day!

So I thought I was down 3#, but I'm actually only down 1#. So that kind of bites, but it's still a loss and losses are good!
If my losses aren't so good from here on out I'm going to have to do a mini-load day and see if that will kick start losses, taking my HCG all week and eating whatever could have effed up my losses. But I won't know until I do a few POP/MOP days, I can't really count the FAGE & SUSHI DAY, because dairy tends to make me gain and I'm taking the 1lb loss as a fluke lol.

So I'm having my Chicken Strawberry Salads (2) today and we'll see how my losses are in the morning.
I hope I get enough water in, because I haven't been, so it's possible I would have lost more weight this morning if I had gotten even a quarter of the water I'm supposed to drink (120oz/day).
So we'll see how it goes.
I'm so sick of losing old weight, I've really got to stop sabotaging myself, and just stick to protocol and get rid of this weight.

I think one of my saboteur problems right now is skin. And looking gross after I lose weight.
I don't want to have to get a tummy-tuck to look even decent. My friend Catherine said I won't have to worry about it because I wasn't FAT - Round, but then I'm worried about needing a body lift due to extra skin on my legs! All I want is to be instantly bikini-ready next summer!!! OH and to fit with a friend in a Samlor:

When I go to Thailand next year, I want to be to GOAL!!!!! And I know it's possible because other people who started HCG around the same time that I did have already lost 70-80lbs.

And then there's my MEASLY 30lbs!!!

I feel constantly like a failure when I compare myself to others....Except to my friend Jo who is either at or above where she started, for lack of willpower and then she had some health issues, and she's always travelling for work.... She only has like 30lbs to lose! So I wish she gets her stuff together and gets down to SPINE SKINNY! Yes yes. I ALSO HOPE I GET MY STUFF TOGETHER AND GET SPINE SKINNY AS WELL!

So that's where it is, I'm afraid of getting skinny because I'm afraid of having all kinds of nasty skin flaps and shit. Which I really shouldn't be worrying about because I'm not ROUND FAT, I'm just BIG ALL OVER, sort of fat.... What I am not looking forward to is seeing what I should have seen after my son was born - Stretch marks and loose skin on my belly left over from my pregnancy.

But the plan is to tighten up my skin and work my ass off to tighten up my muscles in the process.

I have a feeling sea salt lotion, cocoa butter, and collagen are going to be even better friends in the future than they are now.

And I have to remember that it takes a year for your skin to completely shrink all it's going to after weight loss. I'm hoping that by then I'll be tight and firm and gorgeous all over =] And have a super bikini bod!

If anything I at least hope my "man-legs" go away so I can look super hot in a mini skirt/dress.

And I hope I don't get saggy skin around my legs/butt. THAT WOULD SUCK!!!!

Watch me gain all my weight back just to fill in my skin again lol.

NO NO NO NO

I can't think like that!!!!

I'm going to get fucking skeleton skinny, then fill out a little until I figure out where I like to be - spine skinny, and hopefully fit into normal people sizes!

What I Ate - 8/13/11

17.5oz Fage Total
1 Large Peach

Roughly 1145cals


7 pieces of sushi and a bowl of miso soup.
Roughly 373cals

(we try to go out or order in once a week as a family date night)

Rough Estimate of today's caloric intake: 1514cals; 55% Fat, 22% Carbs, and 23% Protein - That's about a fat fast day right? I'll just call it my FAGE SUSHI DAY! - If it drops me any weight =P

Not really worried about it, I have those salads I was going to eat today, but had to get rid of the Fage.
So tomorrow is Chicken and Strawberry Salad Day! (Sounds totally gross right? - We'll find out!)

It's almost 4am so I'm going to bed lol.

Dun-Dun-Dunnnnnn =]

Soooooo I'm only up 4.5lbs!!!
Which I Think is AWESOME!!!! For all the stuff I ate while at my dad's.
Hubby saved me some "Strawberry Chicken Salad" I'm going to try today, it looks really creepy, but I'll try it, and yes its a salad with strawberries and a little thingy of chicken salad - with MAYO, I don't think the little bit of fat will hurt though, it's REAALLLLY tiny. So we'll find out, and I might add in some protein by having a strawberry shake for my drink with my salad (make the strawberries in the salad less noticeable - I HOPE - I'm not big on fruit being in my salad).

WOOPS: UPDATE - OK, I TOTALLY FORGOT! - I'm doing a Fage-day today, because I have about 6 of those little full fat Fage cups (bought on sale $1/ea =] ) that I put in one big container and I need to eat it before it goes bad.
So this will be an interesting day, I HATE FAGE - IT'S GROSS - LIKE EATING CREAM CHEESE.

OH YEAH - If you read my blog, don't forget to FOLLOW IT! =] Thanks.

In other news, last night I opened my present from my friend Catthai!!!

This was sooooo EXCITING for me =]

It's supposed to remind me of my plans and what I want to do:

(learn Thai, Visit Thailand, Get degree, teach in Asia, etc etc etc...)

So, everytime I look up I see it and I'm reminded to get things done!!

She also sent me stevia because it gives her headaches and I've never used it before!

(I always use Truvia, Saccharin, or PureVia)



I'm finding it hard to be patient about waiting for my Skin79 BB Cream lol. Oh well I can hold out for 2 more weeks, right? One more reason I hate buying things online lol, I have to wait for them to arrive!!

Ok off to inject my hCG, loving my new tiny needles!

The one on the left (bigger and longer) is what I normally use,

The one on the left (TINY) is what my friend gave me.

Normal: 100cc, 28ga, .5" - Prick and a little sting if you don't poke it in perfectly

New: 50cc, 31ga, .25" - CAN'T FEEL IT AT ALL!!! No discomfort!

These small ones probably wont work for you people who inject A LOT of liquid

(I only inject at .15-.17 for 150-175iu - anything more to me is creepy)

Ok NOW I'M GOING!!!

Have a great day, I'll update later with my intake and feelings for the day =]

Hello World!!!! I'm home! - with reply to Elizabeth Sanchez =]

@ Elizabeth - I just enter my foods in my food diaries at www.fatsecret.com and www.myfitnesspal.com (my name is Queenrilly on both), anyways you enter a food and it tells you the amount of calories in it.

I don't put too much stock in caloric intake really, I think "science" has really gotten out of hand.
LIKE REALLY? - How do they know how many "calories" are in EVERY FOOD?
I just do it to make sure I'm close to getting in all my calories for the most part. Sometimes I'm over and sometimes I'm under -shrug- I give up lol. It's a rough estimate based on websites and what people add into the database =] hope that helps!!!
Sorry it was so long winded - Thanks for commenting!! =]]


Onto other things xD
I'm home!!!! And I've been a little piggy ALL WEEK - ON HCG!!!!
BUT! I'm only up...6lbs as of weighing tonight, we'll see in the morning, I've probably gained less, and I know I haven't been getting enough water in AT ALLLLLL.


I just ordered Skin79 The Oriental Gold BB Cream from Amazon last night!!! I am soooo excited to try it and give a review....would like to do a video review or whatever, but alas, no computer. HOPEFULLY I'LL BE ABLE TO GET IT NEXT MONTH!!!! (Computer I mean - the BB cream should be here in a couple of weeks - some say sooner)
Anyways, I'm hoping the BB cream is as awesome as everyone says it is, the only thing I'm worried about is the oiliness of the cream, Eki (http://www.ekiblog.com/) say the Oriental Gold is her favorite, except that it's a little TOO "dewy/oily". So we shall find out!! And I'm afraid maybe it will be too dark, BUT people say it oxidizes to match your natural color (if you're tan-white, it's not for dark people).
I wish I could afford to get some new eye shadows - I really need matte colors!!!
And colored contacts would be cool, but since I don't really go out they would be pointless because I would never show them off!! Maybe after I start at University next year.


SO, onto HCG things.
I an currently using OVIDAC (2000iu vial - 14 days), and INJECTING, at between 150-175IU - depending on how I feel that day, sometimes I get hungry and then skip and then I'm fine so I go down to 150iu and if I'm hungry in the morning after... Well, I play around with it lol.
So I haven't been hungry on the Ovidac, I've just been eating everything in sight at my dad's house!!!
Cake, ice cream/sherbert, steak with fat, noodles, cookies, diet soda....Yeeeeeeah. Seriously though, if it ended up in front of my face, it ended up in my stomach.
So now that I'm home I am feeling comfortable and confident that I will be MOP/POP (My Own Protocol/Perfectly On Protocol) from here on out until my 2000iu runs out at the end of next week!! =]
Excited to get rid of the 230s this coming week =]

Ovidac

Alrighty, so no Internet and I'm visiting my dad, so I'm on my phone.
I just mixed and injected some Ovidac last night, I'm hoping it works well. So far I'm not hungry at all, I actually had to force myself through the BLT I had for lunch, so that's a good sign.
I do have to say that going in it felt fine, but a little while afterwards, the injection site sort of stung for a while, but after injecting b12 last time I used Rx Hcg I don't think any small stinging will ever bother me again haha.

Its really nice not having to worry about whether or not the hhcg is doing anything. Or worrying about my heart failing or something due to starvation. I feel LOADS better physically and I've only been off the hhcg for two days!

So I'm glad to be on.the Rx Hcg as of today, not looking forward to weighing while here at my dad's though, there's carpet only - everywhere - and I'm up 5lbs since I weighed yesterday at home. Sooooo, I won't have a correct readout until I get home sometime during the week. Which stinks, but it might be nice if my weight is down A TON when I get home after feeling like a fatass while here.

MIL gave me some more clothes, mostly XL, and they mostly all fit! Of course they're all lounge/pajama-wear, but my normal pj's are 2-3X! So 1x-xl is worth celebrating. ALSO, when we went to BIL/MIL's my niece-in-laws both commented on how much weight I've lost!  And I've only lost like 10# since I saw them last, but I was wearing a tighter shirt. Last time, oldest NIL didn't even say anything, I had to coax it out of her! This time I just walked in and she was like "WOW YOU'VE GOTTEN SKINNIER!"
That feels really good coming from a teenager 1/3 of my size. Especially since she's the one I got my thinspiration jeans from that are hanging on my bedroom wall - size 5.
She's a bit bigger now. Shes going to explode if she keeps eating crap, but you can't tell that to someone who doesn't want to hear it, especially a kid, I know that from experience. She probably gets it enough from her grandmother anyways, even though the granmother is the reason she eats nothing but crap. Bread and sugar, I swear that's all they eat or drink. No wonder all the kids are fattening up. I should talk to BIL about it.