Like now, being between rounds, eating P3 foods, I feel like a fatass because I'm not trying to lose weight.
I know that because of the weight I aim to lose, I shouldn't take a break if I ever want to get there, I have so far to go. So much to lose. 130lbs!? That's an entire person's weight!
I feel guilty for not trying to get rid of it, for taking a break from losing weight.
I don't feel like I should stabilize until I'm done losing all the weight I need to, until I feel comfortable at the size I end up with.
Last night I measured and I have actually gained 1" on everything: arms, thighs, calves, stomach, hips, and bust.
I cried and my boyfriend tried to tell me I'm not fat and that I'll start losing again when I get my pills and later when I get back on the hCG track. But I don't care about the future when I'm depressed about right now, lol. Nice of him to try though. Of course that's only because he wanted sex. Men. They're all pigs lol, even the good ones.
And no, I don't feel like "doing it" when I feel like a fricken cow.
Tomorrow my pills will be sent and by the end of the week I should get them. Maybe after that I'll stop feeling hopeless because with all luck I'll be losing weight again.
I might buy those hCG pellets before the end of the month and do the pills and hCG at the same time.
I also need to get back to protein shakes, on or off hCG, so I don't have to worry about what kind of crap I'm eating, if it comes up to a burger and a protein shake, I think I should do the shake. Right?
Moving On, (should be my trademarked phrase)
Here are some pictures I think are nice looking, inspirational, and probably controversial.
And in light of last weekend's Comicon!
Comic Girls:
